Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts
by Weskette
Summary: After an accident, Chris is thrown into a two year coma. When he wakes, he finds everything different than what he had thought. He struggles to get past lost relationships and other changes that occurred in his absence.
1. Prologue

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**Prologue**

Gunshots echoed around the pair as the dodged behind a wall. "Chris, we need to get out of here." She was breathing heavily, exhausted from the long run and hour of dodging bullets. Not all of them had been dodged. She had wounds on her arms and legs where bullets had skimmed over.

"Can you manage to keep going?" he asked, setting a gentle hand on her arm.

"Lead the way," she replied, reloading her gun. He nodded, giving her a long look before turning and running back into the fray.

They took out three hostiles before moving into the empty room. Jill closed the door and Chris pushed a large, laboratory looking device in front of it. Taking a deep, shakey breath, Jill let her back slide down the wall until she was sitting. The break was only long enough for her to catch her breath again before they left. Racing through the hallways, chased by mercenaries and BOWs alike.

All Chris could think of was getting out of the horrible place. He wanted to get out, get back to HQ, fill out the paper work, get home, and cuddle with Jill. That was his plan of action.

The exit wasn't far according to the map on their PDAs. They needed only get down two more hallways and through the exit. They had been through worse.

"Hey, Chris," Jill spoke, catching his attention.

"Yeah, babe?" he said gruffly, checking his gun.

"Doesn't this thing remind you of the labs in Africa?" She jerked a thumb towards the object at the door.

He frowned at the thing but smiled at her. "Yeah."

"It's a bad memory for you, huh?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

She gave him a sympathetic smirk. "It's an okay memory for me. It looks like one of the things in the lab above the place where Excella had that uruborous thing attack you." She looked at him lovingly for a moment. "That was just before you saved me." She took a deep breath. "We should get moving."

Chris nodded and began to push the lab equiptment out of way.

"Haven't lost your touch, Redfield," Jill stated as she watched his body move. She winked at him as he stood.

They each placed a shoulder on the wall on opposite sides of the door. Jill looked out. No one was there. She nodded and he went through, followed by her. They got down the first hallway and pressed their backs against the wall. He glanced around the corner and spoke. "It's all clear." He looked back at her for half a moment.

"Chris, I-"

A gunshot sounded and her body fell forward. Blood pooled around her, emptying from the bullet hole in the back of her neck.

Chris was paralyzed as her watched her body for a moment. Frozen there, another gunshot sounded, impacting in his lower stomach. There was no pain. His eyes stayed on the unmoving body of his partner as another bullet dug into his shoulder.

He fell.

* * *

**So, this is my new story. I've finished Sleep, as some of my avid readers know.**

**This is a lot worse, angst wise. There won't be much Valenfield after this that isn't onesided or muted almost completely. Not until the middle to the end.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**_Are you there?_**  
**_If so, where are you hiding?_**  
**_I'm having trouble finding you._**

-** Oh me, Oh my. Imogen Heap**

Jill sighed. It was a Wednesday. Exactly two years, one month, and three days, give or take a few hours, had passed since she had the need to be where she was. The hospital. Every Wednesday, she would enter the dreaded place. She'd breath through her mouth, as not to smell the "too clean" scent. She'd block out the noises, as not to hear people crying, groaning in pain, or the last breaths of the terminally ill.

Room 216 was the room she was headed for. Inside, unmoving on a hospital bed, was someone important to her. He was hooked up to many different machines. An IV was in his left wrist, pumping the nutrients he needed in order to keep living. He was pale, not having seen the sun for two years. He hadn't seen anything for two years.

Just like every week, she entered the room and sat in the chair that had a permanent position beside the bed. She sometimes talked to him. Other times, she'd bring a book and read, glancing up at his unchanging face between every page she completed. Some days she'd cry.

The man lying on the bed was her partner, Chris Redfield. Before his accident, they had been close friends. They knew each other well and could make each other laugh. They would comfort each other on off days and have movie nights at least once a week. But that had ended.

Instead, she had spent the last two years, one month, and three days, waiting for him to wake up. At the beginning, she visited every day, hoping he'd make a quick recovery. Months in, though, she had been forced to change it to once a week for her own sanity.

She worked alone in STARS, not wanting a different partner. She was still part of Alpha, but nothing was really the same anymore. Chris was the bridge between her and the others and without him, she just couldn't relate. Wesker had been promoted, so he was no longer the captain of Alpha. Irons had brought in some new guy named Tony Vegare. The only person she talked to at work for something that wasn't work related was Barry.

Jill jumped as her cellphone vibrated, alerting her to a text. She glanced at it. It was Payton, her boyfriend. She swore lightly and didn't reply. He knew not to text her while she was visiting Chris. Wednesday after twelve and until three, she was unreachable. That was the time she dedicated to sitting at Chris's side with hope that he'd wake up soon. Claire was losing hope for him. She had confided in Jill that if he didn't wake up after five years, she'd pull the plug. She didn't want to watch her brother fade away. Jill understood that. She hated watching her partner fade away.

Jill was reminded that she hadn't talked to Claire in a while. Claire visited on Mondays or Thursdays. It was rare for her to come on Wednesday. She knew that was the constant day the Jill went.

Jill wiped a hand over her face. Lately, she was depressed. It was something easily hid, even from Payton. And it had started two years and one month prior. Three days after Chris's accident. That was when they discovered he was in a coma that he might not wake up from.

It seemed like she'd be crying instead of reading that day.

* * *

An hour later, Jill found herself with her book sitting loose in her lap. Her eyes were on Chris's face, but flitted down to her book for a few moments, trying to focus on the worn pages. She brushed back a lock of hair. She had kept it short, but it was hard to keep it out of her face without a barette. Soon she gave up on her book and let her eyes rest on his face.

"Chris, I-"

She cut herself off. He couldn't hear her. There was no point anymore. She simply stared at him, silently willing his awaking. She just wanted to see his eyes again. She wanted to see that look he gave her when he was happy, where she could see it in the deep blue depths. He meant so much to her and he was, as much as she hated to think it, dying.

She focused hard on him. _"Wake up,"_ she thought. _"Chris, please..."_

Tears fell from her eyes before she could stop them. She swore and swiped at them, causing the small droplets to disappear. She hated crying. Chris wasn't dead_ yet._ Tears were unneeded.

She placed her hands over her face and pressed her fingers against her eyes. She took a deep breath and let her eyes becomed glued to Chris's face.

His eye lids flickered. She grew alarmed. _"That didn't happen, I'm imagining things."_ Her explanation to herself grew as a cruel joke. His face was unchanged.

But then his hand twitched.

_"God dammit, Jill!"_ She pressed her palms against her eyes again. _"Stop getting your own hopes up!"_

She was afraid to look at him again. She'd just see more signs of false hope.

But when she did look, it was different. He opened his eyes. Her breath caught in her throat and she staired at him. "Chris?" she whispered, almost afraid.

He turned his head towards her, confusion on his face. "Jill?" She couldn't breath and the tears that hid behind her eyes emerged and dripped down her face. She stood and moved closed to the bed. He looked up at her with the sudden realization that it was in fact her. In only a moment, he had her in his arms, hugging her tightly. "Oh God, Jill..." He kissed her forehead. "Are you okay? I thought you were dead..."

She pulled away enough to look at him. "Chris... What are you talking about?"

He looked at her. Really looked at her. Her hair was short and she looked younger. Her v-neck shirt showed no scar from her time in Africa. "What's going... I..."

She wiped away a tear. "Chris... You've been in a coma for the past two years."

"Wait... How old are we?"

"You're twenty-six and I'm twenty-four..."

He forgot to breath. "You... You mean it was all fake?" His arms dropped from around her. "N, none of it happened?"

"None of what, Chris?"

He didn't answer, but dragged his hands hard over his face. He was crying now too.


	3. Chapter 2

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**_Everybody says it's a perfect day._**  
**_The sun is in my eyes, make it go away._**  
**_Surrounded by people, but I feel so alone._**  
**_Seems like I fall apart every time you go._**

-** Too Much is Never Enough, Kerli**

Jill stood with her arms crossed. She was standing, more like pacing, outside of room 216, the room of the man who functioned as her partner. Her teeth needled her lower lip with worry. The nurses had ushered her out in order to do a thousand and one different check ups on him. Mental stability, muscle mass, and more. They said it'd be quick, but it had already been a half an hour. He still needed to explain what he had meant by it all being fake. He didn't need nurses shoving thermometers who knows where or pushing medication at him. He needed his partner, his friend. He needed her.

She had called Claire, but there was no answer. Instead, she left a message that was simply "He's awake". She knew Claire would call back in order to get an explanation. And she'd rush to the hospital in order to see him. In a way, Jill hoped that Claire would take a bit longer so the brunette would have time to talk to the male Redfield.

A nurse exited the room and Jill turned. "Can I go back in now?"

The nurse, one Jill knew well, nodded. The nurse's name was Betty and was most commonly working on Wednesdays when Jill came in. She had blonde hair and a kind face. "He's in good shape. But he won't be able to leave the hospital for another week at least. Probably more. We'll start him on physical therapy in a few days." The woman paused. "He wants to see you. Carla's just got to check his IV and she'll be out."

"Thank you..."

"No problem, Jill. Hope you two are happy together," Betty smiled before disappearing into the hospital.

Jill blushed, shook it away, and entered the room again. Chris was sitting up, propped there by pillow. The nurse, Carla, a woman with dark curly hair and tanned skin, saw Jill, finished her job, and exited quickly. Chris couldn't help but smile when he saw Jill. She gave him a small, nervous one in return. He was looking at her like he used to, all happiness.

She pulled the chair even closer to the bed. "Chris..." He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, a welcome feeling to both of them. "What did you mean earlier? When you said it was all fake?"

He frowned and looked down. "I guess it's called a coma dream..." She leaned forward and maintained the grip on his hand. "I remember almost everything. Starting in 1998... What really happened that year?"

She frowned and took a shakey breath. "The accident that put you into the coma." She felt like crying again.

"Oh..." He trailed off and met her eyes. "In the dream, we were on a mission in the mountains..." He closed his eyes to remember it better. "Most of Bravo team was dead... They were attacked by these creatures. You'll probably think I'm insane, but the things were zombies. We, and by that I mean you, Wesker, and I, ended up in this mansion in the middle of the woods. Wesker sent me to investigate something and when I came back, you were both gone. I was alone from that point onward until I found Rebecca. Everyone the team... Dead."

"You don't have to tell me everything right now..." she whispered, interrupting his story. He looked at her, crying again.

"Jill?"

"Yes, Chris?"

"What are we? Here?"

She sensed the bigger question. _"Are we together?"_ She took a shaky breath. "Partners. We're partners."

He nodded and squeezed her hand. "I'll... I'll tell you the rest later... Can you tell me what's happened in the last two years?"

"Of course." She held his hand tightly and relayed the main events of the prior two years. She told him of Wesker's promotion, the new captain, and Claire's whereabouts. When she came to the subject of Payton, she slowed. She was much quieter as she spoke of him, giving Chris very little information. She didn't know why, but she felt nervous. He was back, awake. He was there. But she felt awkward. She wanted to sit on the bed with him, cuddle against his side. She wanted to be held by him. She had absolutely no idea why. They weren't romantically engaged with each other. Two years, a month, and four days prior she had entertained the thought of asking him out. But now she was with Payton and unless that ended, she had no chance with Chris. Even then, with what had happened...

She doubted that she'd ever have a chance with Chris.

Chris had a train of thought that was parallel to hers. He already missed the world in his mind. He missed being with Jill the way that his mind had let him be. He wondered if her lips tasted the same, if she'd react in the same ways she had. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and whisper sweet nothings to her as he had been able to before. It was weird not to be in a relationship with her. Not weird. Horrible. He loved her and there was nothing between them. Well, not nothing. They were partners. Which, compared to the dream he had, was almost nothing.

He felt so disoriented. He was almost ten years younger, he had considerably less muscle due to his two-year long sleep, and he no longer had Jill as his lover.

"Jill?"

"Hm?"

"What am I supposed to do now?"

She tilted her head. "Well, I guess we'll have to take your stuff out of storage. The RPD should pay for a few months rent. Not to mention some consolidation for work hazard. Once you're all better, you could probably come back to STARS. If that's what you wanted..." She gave him a small smile. "I need my partner back."

He smiled. "Sounds like a plan."

"I can help you train. And you'll probably have to pass a psych evaluation."

He nodded. "The nurse, what was her name... Betty? Said that I'd have to meet with a shrink a few times every week in order to ensure I'm mentally sound and whatever." He yawned. "I'm tired..."

"How?" she asked. "You're been asleep for two years, one month and three days."

He looked her in the eyes, serious. "You've counted?"

She nodded, a grim look on her face. "Yeah. Every single day."

He almost said it. He had almost spoke the three words he thought he had for the past twelve years. But those twelve were locked away in his mind. He held back the _"I love you",_ but it strained at his lips and mind, trying to escape and find safety in her ears, in_ her_ mind. He wanted to say it. He did, more than anything. Instead, he whispered her name, embedding the emotion in it. "Jill..."

"Try not to fall asleep until Claire gets here." The brunette gave him a sad look. "She needs to see you." Jill was afraid that he might return to the folds of the coma. If he did, it'd be just another thing Claire could hold against Jill. Just like... She shook her mind of that.

"Okay."

"I'll call her, okay?" He nodded. The phone rang three times before being answered. Claire's voice was frantic on the other end.

"I'm heading there now!" She swore into the phone. "Is he okay? Does he remember anything?"

"Yes, he's fine, according to the nurses. Do you want to talk to him?"

The redhead paused. "No. I want to see him in person. Tell him I love him for me. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Okay. Bye." She hung up. "She told me to tell you she loves you and she'll be here in a few."

He nodded. "She didn't want to talk to me?"

"She said she'd rather see your face when she talks to you." There was silence. It wasn't uneasy, but it wasn't comfortable either. Something rose to the front of Jill's mind; what Chris had said when he saw her upon waking. _"I thought you were dead..."_ The tone he had was frightening. "Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you said that you'd tell me the rest of your dream later, but... Why did you think I was dead?"

The image of her dead body appeared on his mind. It renewed the tears in his eyes. He flicked them away and held the rest in. "You and I were on a mission... Clear out the infected and get the information hidden there. But it went wrong... We were both hurt. We had almost been to the exit when... When you were shot. I couldn't move after that. I was too shocked by your death... I just stared down at you... I think I got shot after, but... I'm not sure."

The breath caught in Jill's throat for the umpteenth time that day. He cared for her that much in his dream? Jill was saved from a reply when Claire rushed into the room. "Chris!" Immediately, the younger Redfield began to cry from the happiness at seeing her brother awake. She hugged him hard. "Oh God, big bro. I'm so happy to see you awake!" He hugged her in return, patting her back. He was surprised by the sudden assault.

"Hey, Claire..."

"Have the nurses been in? Are you hungry? I bet you are, I'll go get you some food."

And just like that, Chris and Jill were left in the room again. Jill sensed it was time for her to leave. She grabbed his hand, squeezing it. "I should go, Chris..."

"No, Jill, you can stay!"

She shook her head. "Claire won't like me being here. I'll come back tomorrow, okay?" She pressed her forehead to his, closing her eyes. "Don't... Don't sleep for so long again, okay? I don't wanna lose you again." She kissed his cheek. "Good-bye, Chris."

She was crying before she got to her car.


	4. Chapter 3

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**Don't weep, not for long**  
**Lost savants**  
**Between this fight and a wall **  
**- Glimpse of the Con, Chevelle**

Jill stepped quietly into her apartment and slipped off her shoes as she closed the door.

"Jill, that you?"

"Yeah," the brunette replied. Payton stepped out of the kitchen. He was about the same height as her with blonde hair that reached about midway down his ears. He had a slight build. He moved and kissed her. She barely kissed back, only enough to satisfy him.

"Why'd you take so long? I was gonna ask you to make me a sandwich for lunch," he spoke. "Y'know, before I got home."

She gave him a smile that was more directed at Chris's wellbeing than her boyfriend's stomach. "Chris woke up."

Payton had almost no reaction. "He okay?" Jill could tell the blond had only asked so she didn't get angry with him.

"Yeah, I think so." Besides the fact that he had a coma dream where messed up events took place.

"Good." He paused. "Do you wanna make dinner or order out or something?"

"We always order out. And no. I'm tired, I'm going to... I'm going to go to bed," she whispered, taking a few steps into the bedroom.

"Want me to join you?" His question was fully based on his own satisfaction.

"No."

* * *

Chris sat in his hospital bed, watching some show on the tv. He wasn't paying attention at all. His mind was still racing at the confusion of his dream life and his woken life. He thought about how Jill was in a relationship with someone else. That annoyed him. He was the jealous type, and even though she wasn't his here, he was angry at this new guy for going near her.

Jill seemed sad. For the hour she had been able to talk to him, she appeared downtrodden, almost depressed. He prayed that wasn't the case. She was too beautiful and smart for that. And if Payton had caused it, there'd be hell to pay. Chris didn't care if, at the moment, he was weak from two years in a hospital bed. He still had his training.

And then there was Claire. Chris didn't know why, but he felt as though there was tension in the room when Claire and Jill were there together. That was something he didn't like. Claire was his sister, Jill his lov- partner. He'd rather they be friends. In his dream, they were best friends. Jill acted like an older sister to the redhead. They told each other everything. Chris was curious to why there was such a drastic difference.

"Guys, slow down," Chris heard a man's voice say from outside his room. "We don't want to overwhelm him. Jill, you go on in." The door opened and Jill slipped in.

"Hey," she greeted with a smile that didn't need to be faked. "About half of Alpha and half of Bravo is here."

He gave her a hopeful smile. "Can I have a hug before they come in?"

"You can have a hug anytime you want," she replied. He held his arms out towards her and she stepped close. She had to almost kneel on the bed in order to hug him properly. He pulled her close, his face turned so it was hidden in her hair. She smelled both sweet and spicy. Just as she had in his dream.

"You smell good..." he murmured in her ear. His voice sent an imperceptible shiver down her back.

The door of the room opened, letting Barry view what was happening. He waited only a moment to speak. "Jill? Can we come in?"

"Yeah," she answered slowly, pulling away from Chris. She took the only chair as they filed in.

They were all loud and rowdy. Joseph commented on how much smaller Chris was, muscle wise. Forest brought up how he missed the target practice with the marksman. The group of men (excluding Jill, of course), spent an hour cheering Chris up. It was a loud gathering that had to be asked to be quiet more than once. At the end of the hour, they gradually trickled out until, yet again, it was only Jill and Chris in the room.

As soon as the last person to leave (Barry) had stepped out of the room, Chris began to cry.

"Are you okay?" Jill asked, setting a hand on his arm.

He nodded. "They were all dead in my dream... But now they're not. I feel much better, Jill."

She took his hand. "You don't usually cry, Bearfield." He smiled at the old nickname. She had given him it on his second day at work after a training session in which he had nearly beaten her with his bearish tactics. He had kept her from flipping him by wrapping his arms around her, pinning her arms to her sides, then lifting her in the air. But then the situation quickly went from that, to her incapacitating him (which was, as he recalled, the first time she pinned him). But, she coined the nickname Bearfield as a combination of his last name and his style.

"You've seen me cry before."

She nodded. "Only once. When you told me about your parents..."

He frowned and looked down. "I have to keep reminding myself all that other stuff never happened... In the dream, you saw me cry a lot. Especially after..." he trailed off, not wanted to bring Africa up. "Nevermind."

"Chris..." Her voice was soft and full of caring.

"I'll tell you later, okay? The things that happened... I hated most of them. It's hard to even think of them and the possibility of them happening here and now."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere as long as you need me."

He raised her hand to his lips and pressed a firm kiss on the back of it. "Thank you, Jill."

That was when a man entered the room. He was about six foot tall with dark brown hair. He was in a loose suit with no tie. "Christopher Redfield?" he asked. Chris nodded. "I'm your psychiatrist, Dr. Kevin Cuilter. A nurse might've told you I was coming today?" Chris shook his head no. "Oh, well, I'm supposed to talk to you and help get you back to the RPD."

"Okay. Can Jill stay during it?" Chris asked, gesturing towards the brunette.

Cuilter frowned. "It'd be better if she didn't. But in some of our later sessions, she can."

It was Chris's turn to frown, followed by Jill. "I guess I'll go then," she stated, turning to Chris. "Want a hug before I go?"

He grinned. "Yes, please." She leaned down and put her arms around him, a hug which he returned. It would've lasted longer had Cuilter not been in the room.

"I'll try to come back later. I promise." He nodded enthusiastically. She could do no wrong in his eyes.

"Oh. Here." She dug into her back pocket and took out a cellphone, which she handed to him. "It's my old one. I reactivated it so you can have one."

"Jill, you didn't need to-"

"Just take it, Chris. My number's on it and so is Claire's."

"Thanks, Jill..."

She left.

Chris found out very quickly that he wasn't fond of Cuilter. The man had a sort of condescending tone and pried too much. The marksman understood he was a psychiatrist, but there was a limit to everything. At first, Cuilter started with typical questions like "How are you feeling?" and "What's on your mind?" But then he reached a bigger question. It wasn't so much of a big question as it was something with a big answer. "Did you have any dreams while in the coma?"

Chris bit his lip. "... Yes."

"And what were they about?"

"One. I only had one, but it was long."

"Okay. What was your one dream about?" Cuilter waited for an answer, tapping the end of his pen on the top of the clipboard he had.

Chris hesitated. How could he answer that question straight? "... Life, I guess. It never had one main plot."

"Could you tell me some events in this dream?"

"It... It started off in 1998 and ended around 2012..." The marksman ran a hand down his face. "I worked in STARS at first but after that it was the BSAA."

"And what does that stand for?"

"Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance. We worked to clear out Bioterrorism, obviously. Viruses, parasites. Jill was my partner. We lived and faught together."

"You were in a relationship with her?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah. And I still love her." He hadn't told her of course. But she was in a relationship with someone else and that meant he couldn't be with her. He'd live with it as long as she was happy. He ignored the fact she hadn't seemed very happy at the moment. He'd deal with that later (and kick ass if he had to).

This struck something with the shrink. "Are you currently in a relationship with her?"

"... No." The man sighed. "No, I'm not."

Cuilter wrote something down on his pad. "Please go on with your dream."

Chris huffed. "I don't wanna talk anymore..."

Cuilter nodded. "Okay. We can continue next time. I'll be back in a couple days." He packed up and left without a goodbye.

"Good riddence..." the marksman mumbled. He took out the phone Jill had given him and found her number. It only rang once before she answered. "Hey, Jill... Yeah, he's gone. Any chance you wanna come back? I think it's time I tell you the rest of my dream."


	5. Chapter 4

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**It's dark in here.  
Visions are flashing into my head  
as I reminisce my reoccurring dreams and you said,  
"I'm falling, falling for you, babe.  
My feelings are getting stronger."  
****So, why don't you stay with me for a little longer...  
- Come Here Boy, Imogen Heap**

Truth be told, Jill was nervous about hearing Chris's dream. She knew the beginning and the ending, but nothing in between. She had some suspisions, such as what she was to him in The Dream. It was more than partners, if she guessed right. It took her about fifteen minutes for her to reach the hospital (she hadn't gone far, only to get some tea). When she stepped in the room, the only light came from outside. It was dim light due to the rainy conditions. The chair that was often in the room wasn't there. She stood uneasily by the bed. Her unease came from how she was chilly, how she had felt for the past two years, one month, and three days before his waking, and how she was about to uncover that which was a mystery to her.

"Jill..." He looked up at her, happy just to see her again.

"Hi, Chris." She gave him a soft smile as she pulled her jacket tighter around her. He offered her a seat besides him on the bed and she took it. Like two pieces of a puzzle, their sides fit together. He put his arm around her to provide some heat. She leaned her head on his shoulder. Both were quiet and comfortable. For him, the silence was fear of admitting his love to her through the telling of his dream. For her, the silence was normal. She rarely talked to anyone any more.

He conquered his fear and spoke. "I don't want you to think of me any differently after this..."

"Chris, I wouldn't-"

"Let me finish. I don't want it to affect how we are as partners. No matter what." He looked her in the eyes. "I don't want to lose you. Okay?" She nodded, taking in how serious he was. After taking a deep breath, he began to tell his story. He started from the beginning, where most stories start. It was slow going; he had over ten years to tell. She learned of their relationship almost immediately. In fact, he began with it. He told her of the first time they made love, of when they formed the BSAA, and of even the smallest happening between them. She listened, even cried at some points. She wasn't sure what she was crying for; the sad events that took place in his mind or the lost relationship they had been in together. When he told her of the mission to apprehend Spencer and the two years and a half he spent alone as an alcohalic, he too began to cry again. She placed a hand on the side of his face and wiped them away as he talked. He leaned against her hand and told of her return to society. Then came the years after. Their engagement, more missions with the BSAA, and the disscusions of retiring to start a family. He ended with the end, as it should be. The end where he stood over her unmoving body as bullets dug into his flesh. "That... That's it."

She wrapped her arms around his torso and pressed her cheek to his shoulder. "Chris."

His slack grip tightened around her. "I love you, Jill."

She began to shake with the effort it took to not sob. Slowly, she raised her head from his shoulder. She looked him in the eyes and without warning, kissed him. It was a passionate kiss, led by her. She allowed him entrance to her mouth and was pulled deeper into the kiss. They pulled away breathless. Tears were at the edge of Jill's eyes. "That's all I can give you..." He nodded, sad.

"Visiting hours are over," Betty spoke as she stuck her head in the room. "Sorry, Jill, but you'll have to leave. I promise he'll be okay for the night."

"Okay, Betty. I'll be right out."

The nurse nodded. "Thanks, dear." She left.

Jill gave Chris one last long hug before leaving. "Bye... I'll be back tomorrow."

"Goodbye. I love you."

* * *

Jill had been able to hold in her sadness on the way home. She bottled it up in order to appear normal to Payton. He was easily fooled.  
She turned her head when he tried to kiss her. "Not now..." she mumbled. Not while she was still trying to preserve her kiss with Chris.

Payton huffed and left her alone. She watched the sky darken further as she ate her dinner, a cold salad. Her mind didn't stray from Chris. The kiss was something more than she'd had in a while. He was caring and passionate and did something she had trouble believing anyone could. He loved her. Love wasn't a word Chris used lightly. She could tell he wasn't lying by the look in his eyes, the emotion in his voice. She was inadequate. She'd never be enough for him.

Not after the incident. Chris's accident.

They had been on a mission. Someone had planted a bomb in a mall. Though it was evacuated, Jill had been sent in to defuse it. Chris, as her partner, went with her.

That was the first mistake.

He came with her and watched her back as she tried to disable the bomb. It was ticking steadily down from an hour, originally set at four. With only fifteen minutes left, she had been able to cut off most of the supply of energy that would create the blast. But she wasn't able to diffuse it entirely. When it reached the last few seconds, Chris pulled her away (in her stubborness, she refused to leave). The blast only hit him. They were thrown a little ways away, but only Jill was able to get up again. Chris was unconcious, a cut on his cheek and a bruise on his forehead. She thought the worst. She blamed herself for the event at first and still did over two years, one month, and three days later. She'd never be worthy of a relationship with him, not with what she did to him. Besides. She was with Payton.

She finished her dinner, put the plate in the dishwasher, and retired to bed. Payton followed her. "Jill..." he murmured, setting a hand on the inside of her thigh. She pushed it away.

"I'm not in the mood," she stated simply. He pushed it, trying to kiss her. "No, Payton. I don't want to!" she hissed.

He huffed. "Fine." After a moments pause, he spoke again. "I'm leaving on a business trip soon."

She rolled over to face him, frowning. "Again? How long?"

"A month and a half," he answered.

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"And your just telling me this now?"

"I was hoping it'd be cancelled." His reply was smooth. Flawless. Practiced. But she had no proof that he was lying.

"Fine." She rolled over, far from him, and went to sleep.

* * *

Work was slow. She felt emotionally exhausted. Between her current commitment to Payton and Chris's love, she wasn't sure what she'd do. Her pen scratched at her paper, a monotonous sound she had gotten used to. She didn't talk to the others and didn't really want to. She didn't really want to do much.

Barry approached. "Hey, Jill."

"Oh. Hey, Barry." She didn't look up.

"You okay?"

She nodded. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" The older man was worried about Jill and had been for a while. Now that Chris had awoken, she seemed a bit better, but Barry still wasn't sure. She had regressed since the previous day.

"Yeah." She finally looked up at him, no emotion in her eyes. It was all locked behind a mask.

Barry looked at the time. "You know what? You can go ahead and get off early. Go visit Chris."

Surprise appeared on her face. "Really?"

"Yeah. I'll make sure to cover for you if Tony asks."

She smiled softly. "Thanks, Barry."

She was gone in a moment. She was thankful to Barry for allowing her to leave over an hour early. Chris was really one of the only things that brightened her day. With no family, few friends, and no pets, he was really the only thing to brighten her day.

Arriving at the hospital, Jill was surprised to find Claire already visiting with the eldest Redfield. The brunette stepped awkwardly into the room. Chris's face lit up, but Claire's... Well, her's contained the opposite emotion of her older brothers.

"Hey, Chris," Jill greeted with a smile. It fell when her eyes went to Claire. "Claire."

"Jill."

"How was work?" Chris asked, happy to have the two women that meant most to him near.

"Boring. Too quiet."

He gave her a grin. "I'll change that when I come back."

Claire frowned. "You're going back to STARS?"

He nodded. "Why wouldn't I?" Jill pulled up a chair beside the bed and he grabbed her hand, another reason for Claire to frown.

The redhead gave him an incredulous look. "You got hurt in STARS. You should get a different job."

"Claire, I'll be fine back in STARS. It's a lot safer there than in my head," he joked. "Besides, Jill will protect me." Jill's smile turned sad and she squeezed his hand.

"But Chris-"

"Butts are for sitting, Claire. I'm going back to STARS." He looked at his partner. "You'll help me train to get back up to strength, right?" The brunette nodded. "Thanks, Jill." Claire huffed, angry at her brother's pigheadedness. Chris turned to Jill.

"How're you feeling?" she asked him, rubbing her thumb along the back of his hand.

"Great. What about you?" He would've kissed the back of her hand, had Claire not been in the room.

"Fine. But how you're feeling is important than how I am."

_"Yeah, no kidding,"_ Claire thought to herself. She was sitting back in a chair, frowning. After a few more minutes of talk, Claire stood. "Jill, can I talk to you outside of the room?"

Both Chris and Jill looked up at her, surprised. "Uh... Yeah. Sure." The two women exited the room and Chris felt his stomach drop a little.

"What are you doing?" Claire hissed after closing the door. They were to the side in the hallway.

"If you're going to yell at me, at least step where Chris can't see you. He wouldn't want us fighting." Jill's tone was flat and could be mistaken for uncaring. She and Claire both took a step further down the hall, out of Chris's line of sight.

Claire repeated her statement. "What are you doing?"

"What?" Jill asked in the same toneless voice.

"Supporting Chris in his insane idea to go back to STARS!" Claire exclaimed in an angry whisper, not wanting their argument public.

Jill snorted. "I'm sorry, was I not supposed to be supportive of him?"

The redhead gritted her teeth. "If he goes back to STARS, he'll just get hurt again!"

"I'll be there to protect him!" The lock expert replied, anger getting the better of her. No one was taking her away from him.

"You're the reason he was hurt last time!" The outburst was loud. Claire had lost control in her anger, a trait she and her brother shared.

Jill's breath caught in her throat. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, which were wide and filled with hurt. Before Claire could amend what she had done, Jill was fleeing from the hospital.

Claire returned slowly to the room, taking a seat without looking at Chris's face. Her anger had dissipated to nothing.

"Where's Jill?" he asked, wanted to see the brunette again. He wanted one of her hugs.

Claire just shook her head, ashamed at her own words.


	6. Chapter 5

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**Tell me where our time went**  
**And if it was time well spent**  
**Just don't let me fall asleep**  
**Feeling empty again**  
**-Pressure, Paramore**

Claire left the hospital not even an hour after Jill. She felt so unbareably guilty about her outburst, she could barely stand it. Upon arriving home, she phoned the brunette. It rang and rang before voicemail intervened. She didn't leave a message, wanting to speak with the woman. Jill deserved an apology.

Claire fell into her recliner and ran a hand through her hair. She could still see the pain in Jill's blue eyes at the accusation. "When will I ever learn to shut up?" the redhead thought. All she wanted was for her brother to be happy. As much as Claire didn't like the thought, Jill was part of that happiness. Sure, there was the issue of Jill's boyfriend, Payton. But Claire could scare him off. If she had to, she'd steal him (and then dump his ass because he was a little bitch. Jill didn't seem to see that though) and make sure Jill went to Chris for comfort.

It wasn't a great plan, sure, but it beat letting Chris pine away after Jill (who obviously liked the marksman). Claire wasn't the best match maker, but she'd try. And damn it all to hell if she failed.

She really only wanted her brother to be happy with a woman he loved. It had been obvious since day one of STARS that Jill was the woman he wanted.  
Claire missed the early days of STARS. She and Jill had been friends at that point. They went shopping together, teased Chris together, and even went drinking together. Jill had changed a lot since then. Smiles rarely showed on her face. When they did, they were fake. She was no longer interested in shopping or drinking. She went about her day with no variations. She didn't keep in touch with friends. The only social thing she did was visit Chris at the hospital.

Though the two weren't in the best relationship, Claire was worried for Jill. She didn't want anything to happen to the brunette. Exspecially not the apparent depression.

* * *

Jill was glad Payton was gone. His comfort meant little to her unless he actually tried, which was rare. She grabbed for her phone in order to text Chris an found it missing from her pocket. She swore. That meant she had most likely lost it in the hospital or in the car on the way home.

She closed her eyes, but didn't let the tears out, not at first. She wanted to be strong and hold them in. But, she hadn't been strong for the past two years, one month and three days. More, actually. The day he protected her with his body from a bomb she couldn't diffuse was her first day of weakness. When she pulled desperately at his unmoving body, waiting for the emergency responders that should have been on scene to arrive. That was her first few moments of weakness. Those few moments followed by over two years, one month, three days and leading up to her collapse on the couch. She knew that she was the reason for Chris's accident. But it hurt to know someone else knew of her guilt too. It was better if she just calmed down. With aclear head, she was capable of much more.

But she wasn't. She wasn't capable of doing anything right, that was clear. She'd lost her phone, angered Claire, and nearly cost Chris his life. She couldn't do anything right. She deserved to be alone for the rest of her life and suffer. Or possibly just cut short the wait and end it. Either way, she'd get what she deserved. Death. Chris could live his life with someone else as his partner or, the place she once thought of herself possible of, his wife. She didn't deserve him.

Barely able to stand without wanting to fall again, she curled up there on the couch and fell asleep.

* * *

Two days after Jill and Claire both being present in his hospital room, Jill had not returned. Chris was worried about the relationship his partner and his sister had. Claire had barely said a word after returning from her "talk" with Jill. He wasn't stupid. He knew they had argued behind the closed door of the room.

To wake from one nightmare to be in a dream that had Jill (so refreshingly alive, unscarred, and as beautiful as ever) was something wonderful. But then there was how Jill was acting, how Claire and Jill interacted, and the fact Jill wasn't his to hold. That would have broken him if not for the fact she allowed him the kiss. That one kiss held all the hope in the world to him. She was in a relationship with another man, yet she had kissed him with more passion that he was used to. He loved her. He'd wait as long as he needed to be able to be with her.

Chris grabbed his phone and hit one. It was his speed dial number for Jill. It went straight to voice mail. He sighed. The damned thing had gone to voice mail the past five times. Maybe it was dead. Or maybe she was avoiding him.

He shook the thought away as Betty came in the room. "How are you feeling?" she asked, picking up the clipboard hanging off the end of the bed.

"Okay, I guess," he replied.

"You guess?" She raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "What's up?"

"I can't get a hold of Jill and she hasn't visited in a few days."

"I noticed that. I can get you her home phone to try after I test your reflexes. We have it on file." Betty set the clipboard down on the side table and took a percussor from her pocket. "Sit on the side of the bed, please."

He moved so his legs hung off the side of the bed. He pulled up the pant legs of his pajama pants (Claire had brought them for him). "You can get me her other number?"

"Mhmm." Betty tapped his knee with the percussor and recorded his reaction on the paper. "She's down as one of the people we call if something happens to you. If she hadn't been there when you woke up, we would've called her. And your sister too." She put the percussor back in her pocket and gave him asmile. "I'll go get you her you call her, we can get you up and walking."

He smiled. "Thanks, Betty!"

* * *

Jill stepped out of the shower and was grabbing the towel on the rack when she heard the phone ring out in the living room. She swore and wrapped the towel around her. She left wet foot prints in her wake as she went for the phone. "Valentine residence."

"Hello? Jill?"

"Chris?" She was surprised. "Where'd you get my house number? I lost my phone and couldn't remember your number."

"Betty brought it to me." He paused. She waited for him to continue, not sure what else she could contribute. "Jill... Why haven't you visited me again?"

She sighed. "I'm not feeling too well."

"Emotionally or physically?"

The brunette gave it a moment's thought. "A little of both, I guess. One more than the other." She didn't want to lie to him.

He didn't have to ask which was more. "Any chance you can come visit?"

"I've got to get dressed first, but yes, I can."

"Get dressed? Did you only just wake up? It's kinda late..."

She shook her head, a pointless action when on the phone. "No. I just got out of the shower." She realized she had just told him she was naked.

"Oh..." His mind raced, picturing what The Dream had shown him so many times. He controlled himself. "Well, I really want you to see you today. So go get dressed and hurry here."

"Okay. I'll be there soon," she answered. She wondered what he had thought about her being naked (except the towel) and on the phone with him. He had probably pictured her naked, seeing as it was mentioned. She felt strangely okay with that. "See you."

"I love you. Bye."

She hung up and sighed. Why did he have to say things like that? She sure as hell didn't deserve love from someone as good as him. She tried to get her mind off it, dressing quickly. She turned up the music on the way there, focusing on the lyrics. _"Here, sleep at the bottom of hell. Your time has come to pick the road you walk in this tale. Turned and as a coward you've learned through sickness and health, there's only one. Now go and bite your tongue." _Coheed and Cambria. It was music that had kept her going, if music could weigh so heavily on such a thing as a life.

She took another deep breath, steadying her hands on the wheel.

Stepping into the hospital, she was greeted with the familiar "too clean" scent, but she no longer focused on the bad parts of walking through the hospital halls. Because now the walls held something good for her; Chris.

She opened the door to room 216; a force hit her and nearly knocked her down. "Hey, Jill," a smiling Chris greeted. If he had been a puppy, he would've been wagging his tail. He had his arms around her and his face close to hers.

She patted his back and smiled lightly. "Hmm, and they wonder why I call you Bearfield."

He gave her another quick squeeze before pulling away. He motioned behind him. "Betty let me get out of bed."

Betty was standing by the bed, smiling. "He's been a little unsteady on his feet, but other than that. And I tested his reflexes earlier, but seeing how he moved when he saw you, it was an unneeded test." Betty was a little intrigued in their relationship. She knew Jill was dating someone else, but there was a chemistry between her and Chris that couldn't be denied. "He can leave in a few more days. Have a place to stay?" the blonde asked.

Chris shrugged but Jill spoke. "I've got an empty room for him in my apartment. Payton is gone on a business trip anyways, so I could use some company."

"Well, that's good! No better company than a close friend."

Jill smiled. A real one this time, though it was soft and sad. "Yeah."


	7. Chapter 6

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**I can see the patterns on your face.  
I can see the miracles I trace.  
Symmetry in shadows, I can't hide.  
I just want to be right by your side!  
- Say You'll Haunt Me, Stone Sour  
**

"Okay, your turn." Jill passed the dice over to Chris and smiled. "Be careful. I'm about to win." He bit his lip and rolled the dice.

"Four spaces..." he mumbled. He moved his mouse those and swore. The mechanism activated, the marble moved, and the small plastic cage closed on Chris's piece.

"Ha! I win!" Jill exclaimed happily, clapping her hands together.

"I've never been good at Mousetrap," the marksman chuckled. They both sat crosslegged at opposite sides of the bed, a game of Mousetrap balanced between them. They had already played Candy Land and Chutes & Ladders. "Wanna play Monopoly? You'll beat me at that too."

She smiled. "If you wanna play."

"Hey, I'll play any board game with you."

Betty entered the room before Jill could make any response other than a light blush. He had too much effect on her that she didn't need. "Chris, you're officially free to go!"

He looked over at the nurse. "It's two o'clock already?" He let out a laugh full of disbelief. During the week and a half in the hospital, he had been itching to leave. He felt trapped. He was rarely allowed from his room. But now, he'd be living at Jill's for a while. He couldn't go back to work as of yet (he was cleared physically, but Coulter had yet to okay it).

"Two o'clock on the dot. I thought you'd want to get out as quick as possible, so everything is ready. I hate to see you go, but then again, I don't. You've been here over two years." She gave the two on the bed a warm smile. "Some of the best people I've met in my days as a nurse. This isn't good-bye, though. You've still got to come in for check-ups."

Getting up from the bed, both Jill and Chris went to hug the woman. "Thanks so much for your help, Betty," Jill said. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too. And if you don't mind me saying, you should drop that boyfriend of yours. You can find someone better." Betty winked and gave a small motion towards Chris. Jill frowned, looking down and biting her lip. "And you, Chris. Take care of Jill."

He nodded. "Always."

* * *

"You can sleep here. I never use this room, and the bed isn't very good, in my opinion, but it's better than the couch." She flipped the light on. "We can go pick up some of your clothing too, if you want."

He shook his head. "Claire said she'd drop some off."

"Oh, okay." Claire. Jill frowned. She missed her friendship with the redhead, but the tension between them had snapped, turning into an awkward avoidance. "Tomorrow, if you want, we can go start your training at the RPD."

"I'm not allowed back yet," he reminded. "Coulter hasn't said yes yet."

"You're not allowed back at work. But I'm allowed to bring one other person to the gym there as long as they have some relation to the law. You were in the Air Force and STARS. I can bring you." She was dead set on that. The sooner he was back at work, the more she would look forward to everyday.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Wanna have movie night tonight?" she suggested. "Like we used to. You, me, and the tv."

He smiled and nodded. "That definitely sounds like a plan."

She smiled back and nodded her head towards the living room. "We can just start now with the movies and I can order food later. Or maybe have a marathon of one of our favorite shows. That still includes ordering food."

His smile grew. "Anything you want."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, but smiled too. "No, Chris. Anything you want. You're the one who was in a coma."

"Well, I want to do what you wanna do." His eyes met hers, mischevious. He took her hand, rubbing the back of it gently with his thumb.

"Family Matters marathon it is," she huffed. "But we're ordering food that you want."

He smirked. "Chinese food then." He didn't like it much, but he knew it was one of her favorites.

She growled and walked away towards the living room. He caught up with her and hugged her as she sat down. "Why do you do this?" she asked quietly, succumbing to his hug.

"Do what?" he asked, looking her in the face. "Hug you?"

"All of it... I don't get it."

"Jill, I love you. I know that you probably think it was all in the dream, but it wasn't. I really do love you. Even if you don't back. I wanna make you feel better in any way I can. Does it make you uncomfortable? If it does, I'll stop." He dropped his arms and waited for her reply.

She shook her head no. "No, I'm not uncomfortable." She sighed. "I just don't get it."

"Doesn't Payton do this kinda thing?"

"No. He's not the cuddling type."

Chris frowned. "Well, I'll cuddle you then. But I won't do anything more. I just want to make you feel better."

She kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Chris." She didn't know why, but it truly scared her how easily he saw through the mask she wore over her sadness.

* * *

Jill woke. At first, she wasn't sure what woke her. The overbearing feeling of dread as she woke from a dream told her the reason. Nightmares again. It was around three in the morning. She sat up and yawned. The floor of the hallway was cold as she walked down it. She heard a small noise. A voice. Chris. She pushed his door open some. He was tossing and turning, all while muttering in his sleep.

She frowned and stepped inside. She approached the bed and set a hand on his arm. "Chris... Chris, wake up." She shook his arm gently. In half a moment, she was met with wide eyes as he woke, frightened.

"Jill!" He caught his breath and looked up at her. "Oh God, Jill..."

"You're safe, Chris. Go back to sleep," she whispered, rubbing his arm in a circular motion.

"It's not me I'm worried about..." He took her hand and squeezed it after rolling over to shove his face in his pillow.

"It's fine. Everything is okay." She rubbed his back with her free hand, trying to comfort him back to sleep.

He murmured her name, his eyes closing again. His last thought before slipping back into sleep was his love for her.

She stayed for only a few minutes more, not wanting to torture herself with their possibilities.

* * *

"C'mon, Redfield! You can take her!" the yell came from one of the police officers gathered at the side of the mat.

He swore under his breath as Jill flipped him for the second time. He stood and rolled his shoulders before returning to ready position. Jill smirked and they began to circle each other. "I'm letting you win," he lied.

She half rolled her eyes, keeping them mainly on him. "Please, Bearfield. I could beat you at arm wrestling at this point."

"Yeah right. I'm still stronger than you."

"But I'm faster than you." To prove her point, she did a swift low kick, knocking him off balance. She followed by grabbing his arm, twisting it behind his back and pushing him to the floor. He swore as she pressed a knee to the center of his back, holding him down.

"Goddammit... Jill..."

"Say mercy."

"What?"

"Say mercy, and I'll let you up."

"Jill, come on..." He was embarressed. She was blatantly toying with him in front of the other cops. That was just plain mean.

"Say it."

"... Mercy..." he muttered.

She smirked. "I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you. Louder."

"But, Jill..."

"Louder."

"Fine! Mercy!" He spoke loud enough for the others gathered around the mat to hear. They all chuckled.

Jill stood and allowed him up. He caught her off guard, turning the hold around. She swore. Her flexibility helped her slip out of the hold, rolling so she had his shoulders pinned back. "I win."

She stood and walked away. While she was no worse for wear, Chris had to catch his breath. He let his head fall back on the mat. Barry approached and held out a hand. "C'mon, Chris. You can make it."

Chris sighed and grabbed the older man's hand. He stood and rolled his shoulders followed by stretching his arms. "I remember that a lot different," he admitted.

Barry chuckled. "Jill's focused on training more than anything else for the past two years. She kicks Joeseph's ass pretty often. Never as intimate as that, but you are her partner."

Chris rolled his eyes with a small smile. "I wish I could be more to her than that."

"I can see that. But doesn't she have a boyfriend?"

The marksman nodded. "Yeah..."

"You're a lot better than him."

"You've met him?"

Barry nodded. "Once. He came in to see her once, but that was a few months ago. You've got more chance than he does at a good relationship with her."

"If only."


	8. Chapter 7

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**And if you go chasing rabbits  
And you know you're going to fall  
Tell him a hookah-smokin' caterpillar  
Has given you the call  
And call Alice when she was just small  
- White Rabbit, Emiliana Torrini**

Chris stepped into Cuilter's office. He smelt the too familiar scent of cigarettes. He knew the shrink smoked, and knew it was a bad habit to get into. Jill had been the one to make him kick the habit when she first became his partner. Truth be told, it was tempting to start smoking again. Jill would flay him for it, though. It wasn't like he needed cigarettes. They were just a stress reliever. Chris was very stressed out with all the changes that had taken place in his life.

"Morning, Mr. Redfield," Cuilter greeted.

Chris didn't bother to correct him with "Chris" instead of "Mr. Redfield". "Morning," he mumbled. The marksman took his seat and faced the shrink.

"Anything you want to start with?"

Chris shook his head. All of these talks went to Cuilter claiming Chris's love for Jill wasn't real. That was _bullshit_. Chris loved Jill more than anything. He had since STARS. He had been attracted to her the first day, though made no moves. They fell into a comfortable relationship where flirting wasn't uncommon. He had been just about to ask her out when he fell into the coma. That was horrible luck. Horrible. Instead, he asked her out in his mind as they sat on a helicopter, moments before she fell asleep, head on his shoulder.

"Okay. How are your current living arrangements working out?"

"With Jill? Fine. She's been helping me look for my own apartment. We're going today, actually. After she gets out of work."

"Are you looking forward to moving out?" he asked.

Chris rolled his eyes. "What do you think? No. Because that'll leave her alone and with how she's felt lately, I'm scared of what she might do if she's left alone with her thoughts. I have nightmares about it."

"What happens in them?"

The marksman sighed. "I don't want to think about it."

"It'll be beneficial to your mental health."

_Yeah. Sure._ Chris thought. Cuilter always pulled that line. Chris never believed it. He didn't see how the man had his degree in psychology. "It's beneficial for me to think of my partner being dead or maimed or something similar?"

The shrink sighed. "If it's possible, bring Jill in to our next appointment tomorrow."

Chris nodded. "Fine."

* * *

Jill left work early, before three. She needed to get home, eat something, and start hunting for Chris's next apartment. They had planned to visit a few of the places they had found online that day in hopes one of the apartments would fit. They had already phoned ahead to the landlords and made sure that it was okay for them to go.

Upon entering her own apartment, she caught the smell of something cooking. "Chris?"

"In the kitchen!" he called. She dropped her jacket and keys on the couch and entered the kitchen. He was at the stove, cooking what appeared to be grilled cheese. He turned to her and smiled. "Hey, Jill." He had a plate with a few grilled cheese sandwiches on it. "Made us some food for before we go."

She smiled. "Thanks, Chris."

"It's the least I could do when you're letting me live here until I find my own place."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and sat down at the island counter. "I'm gonna be sad when you go. It's quiet here without anyone else."

"I could stay," he offered with a grin.

She smirked and rolled her eyes. "I wish." She picked a sandwich up and took a bite. "This is good. You should cook more often."

"I'll cook whenever you want me to." She smiled at him and continued eating. "Oh, Jill. Cuilter wants you to come to my appointment tomorrow."

She tilted her head. "Why?"

"He didn't say."

"Okay. What time is it at?"

"Around eight in the morning."

"Good. I don't go in until ten tomorrow."

"They've got you working shorter weeks," he pointed out.

She nodded. "It because they know I've got you here. Once you go back to work, I'll be back on my normal shift."

"I'm hoping to be able to go back to work tomorrow. I think Cuilter will sign the papers that say I can."

"Good. I need my partner back. And it'll be just in time for the big mission we've been planning. Well, we haven't got much of a plan yet. It's more like we've researched the place a lot."

"What is it? Where are we going, what are we doing?"

"It's a drug bust at an amusement park." She finished her grilled cheese and stood to get a drink.

"At an amusement park? That's unusual."

She nodded, pouring both him and herself a glass of milk. He thanked her when she handed him his. "I guess an amusement park is unexpected. I mean, who thinks about drugs when they think about kids on rides?"

He shrugged. "That's the point then."

Jill glanced at the time. "We should probably head out to the apartments. As much as I'd love you to stay."

He smiled a soft smile and brushed a piece of hair out of her face. "I love you, Jill." She blushed and looked down before turning away.

She didn't know how to reply to that. Not when if she replied "I love you" it'd be cheating on Payton, and if she replied something less, it'd hurt Chris. She didn't want to hurt Chris. He was her partner and someone important to her.

"C'mon, Chris. We've got to find you an apartment."

* * *

Jill didn't sleep well that night. Not at all, really.

She was almost afraid of Chris moving out. She'd be left alone in her apartment again, just like every time Payton left on a business trip. She and Chris had found an apartment that would suite his needs. One bedroom, one bath, and cheap enough that he could live there on his current salary. He was about five minutes away by car, fifteen by foot. He was going to be able to move out within the week and Jill would be alone at the apartment again and left to her thoughts. Her terrifying thoughts. They had agreed to have plenty of movie nights, but that didn't comfort Jill much. She'd rather he was a room over than a few blocks over.

She stood from her bed and wandered down the hall. Peeking into Chris's room, she saw he slept soundly. He often had nightmares where he'd toss and turn and mutter in his sleep. She didn't know what the nightmares were about, but she hated how much he was tormented. She closed his door and continued down the hall.

The living room floor was cold on her feet. The cold travelled up her legs in the form of goosebumps until she was shivering. She sat down on the couch and put her feet up. Her line of sight went straight to the window where she could see through the open curtain to a waning moon. The stars were invisible do to the light of the city.

She didn't fall asleep until the moon had moved passed the window and only blackness showed in her part of the sky.

* * *

"Jill? Babe, wake up." She felt a hand settle on her shoulder. She opened her eyes slowly. "Jill, why'd you sleep out here?" Chris asked.

She shrugged and sat up. Rubbing her eyes, she answered him. "I don't know... I couldn't sleep."

"You can always wake me up if you can't sleep," he said. "I'll talk to you, sing to you, whatever you want."

The brunette smiled, though softly. "Thanks, Chris. But I'm fine." She paused. "What time is it?"

"About seven. I made some breakfast."

"I'm not hungry. Besides, I should shower."

He nodded. "Okay. You're still good with going to the shrink appointment, right?"

"Yeah. Definitely." She gave him a quick hug. "I'll be out by seven thirty, then we can go." Jill made the shower scalding hot. It left her skin a little raw, but she felt awake. It was better she was awake with a little bit of pain, than painless and tired. She wasn't getting any sleep anyway. After the shower, she got dressed and returned to the living room. "Chris? Are you ready?"

His voice came from his room. "I'm getting dressed, hold on!" She sat on the couch and waited for him, leaning her head back on the couch. A yawn died in the back of her throat, stifled by her want not to. "Jill?" She was startled by the sudden proximity of his voice. She jumped and he set his hand on hers. "Hey, calm down. It's just me. If you're too tired, you don't have to go."

She shook her head. "I'm fine. Let's go."

By the time the pair had arrived at Cuilter's office, Jill had woken herself up for the day.

Chris opened the door for her, guiding her in with a hand on the small of her back, a habit picked up in the Dream.

"Good morning, Chris. And I assume this is Jill?" The marksman nodded. "Nice to meet you." She dipped her head towards him as form of greeting before sitting down besides Chris on the couch.

Cuilter started off asking Jill questions. How she felt about this or that, how easily she slept, her opinions on work, ect. She quickly grew to dislike him. He smelled of cigarette smoke and acted like a jerk. After a while, he switched to asking Chris questions. Where he was living, how he was feeling, how his check ups at the hospital were going, ect.

Eventually, they reached the subject of Chris's love for Jill. Cuilter asked Chris to step out of the room so he could talk to her. "Okay, Jill. I wanna know how you really feel about Chris claiming he loves you."

Her eyebrows went up. "Claiming? Chris isn't claiming he loves me. He does. I know that sound cocky for me to say, but Chris means every word he speaks. He's the only one that cares for me and I care for him as well. I may be confused to why he'd love someone like me, but I'm thankful for it."

The shrink sighed, seeing he'd get no where with her. He called Chris back into the room.

This time, only a few more questions were asked. Vague questions that were barely answerable.

When the appointment was over, Cuilter took a pad of paper from his desk and wrote something down on the front page. He then ripped off that paper and handed it to Jill.

"What's this?" she asked.

"A prescription for anti-depresants."


	9. Chapter 8

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**You won't convince me, that I'll be better off.  
So you go on and I'll be happier, I'll be happier.  
- Happier, A Fine Frenzy**

Jill was deadly silent as they walked into her apartment. Chris knew she was angry. He knew how she acted when she was livid.

Timidly, he put a hand on her shoulder. "Jill?"

"What?" she snapped. Immediately her expression turned apologetic. "I'm sorry, Chris, I'm just-"

He cut her off with a hug. "I understand."

She leaned against him and sighed. "Thank you, Chris." She let herself stay against him for a long few moments in which she held her composure, unwilling to cry in anyone's presence. She pulled away. The prescription was still clutched in her hand. With no little amount of mallace, she crumpled the piece of paper up and threw it in the garbage. "I'm not taking pills."

Chris rubbed her arm gently. "Jill. Cuilter has no rights to judge you, or even give you that prescription. He talked to you for what, a half an hour? I've known you for so much longer. You don't need anyone or anything."

_That's a lie._ She thought to herself._ I need you, Chris._

"Are you coming with me to work today or waiting until tomorrow to give them the paper?" After giving Jill the prescription, Cuilter had agreed to send Chris back to work. He had to resume work within the week or be fired.

"I'm going in with you," he said.

She smiled. "Awesome." Taking a deep breath, she turned towards the door. "Ready to go? I've got to be in soon."

"I'm ready."

* * *

After a short drive, Jill and Chris reached the RPD. The brunette had been quiet the entire way. Her teeth were gritted tight, her hands gripping the steering wheel. Her thoughts were on the pills Cuilter wanted her to take. When she originally realized she had fallen into a depression, she had looked into anti-depressants. She had even gotten a prescription for some but stopped when she started passing out at random times. At times, she would black out and end up driving to the middle of no where. Once, her black out had lasted a day and when she snapped out of it, she was sitting in front of her mother's grave. She flushed the pills down the toilet as soon as she got home.

Cuilter's want for her on anti-depressants was infuriating. It got worse as she thought about it. It appeared that Chris noticed. He eased her right hand off the steering wheel and held it in his own. She let out a deep breath, trying to reduce the tention she held in her back. She needed to calm down. Anger wasn't going to help her get better or anything close.

Their arrival at the RPD caused a bit of a stir with Alpha and Bravo. Chris was welcomed back after showing the paper to the captain. He walked happily to his desk, the one that faced Jill's, and sat.

She smiled at him, but it fell when she heard Tony call her over. She glanced at her partner once more before answering her superior's summon.

Stepping into his office, she spoke. "Yeah?"

He held up a piece of paper. "I got this email from Chris's psychiatrist. I printed out a copy to show you what it said."

The brunette scowled. "It's about the anti-depressants, right?"

Her captain nodded. "Yes. I wanted to ask you if he gave you a prescription like he mentions in this."

"He did."

"Did you get it filled?"

"Hell no. And I don't plan on it."

Tony frowned. "Why?"

"Because I don't think he should pass judgement on me from talking to me for twenty minutes. And I don't need a drugs help to get better." Jill was adamant about that.

Tony sighed. "We have three days to prepare for the amusement park case. It shouldn't take more than a week. When you get back from it, we'll discuss the matter. If you won't take the anti-depressants, you'll have to see a psychiatrist as well. I don't want anyone on this team working to less than their ability."

Jill sighed angrily and rolled her eyes. "Fine." She went to leave.

"Oh, Jill!" She stopped and turned back. "Here." He handed her a manilla folder, thick with papers. "This contains all the information you and Chris need for the mission. You'll both be undercover as ride operators, while a few others from the team will be janitors and such. But this rides on you."

She nodded. "Yes sir."

Jill returned to her desk and motioned Chris to lean in. "I have our case report. We've each got to go under an alias too."

He nodded and opened the folder. "Well, let's see who we are." He handed the first two pages to her and kept the second two. "Okay... Looks like I'm Christopher Adams. I go by Chris. I just got out of college and am having a hard time finding a decent job."

She smirked. "Very creative." She looked at hers. "I'm Jillian Montenegro, but I go by Jill. I'm also just out of college. But it says nothing about-" Her sentence died in her throat. Without making too much of a fuss, she asked for his paper and compared it with her own. "Huh. Would you look at that. We're dating."

He knitted his eyebrows and took the papers. He couldn't help but smile. "Is it okay if I say "cool"?"

She chuckled. "Sure."

"Cool. I mean, really. This is awesome." She rolled her eyes, leaving the smile on her face. He was distracting her from her thoughts on the drugs from earlier. From all her thoughts really. "I don't even have to fake any emotion for the role," he pointed out in a quiet voice so others couldn't hear. She blushed. "That's a pretty shade on you, Jill." The blush deepened and she sat down, looking down at her paper work. He chuckled and continued to study his alias.

* * *

Jill couldn't sleep again. Though the end of her day had been a decent one, the moment she was alone, her thoughts over came her. She lay awake in her bed, unable to get her mind off of what had happened the last time she had taken anti-depressants. So many horrible things had invaded her dreams. If she closed her eyes, she could see those things again. The thoughts were unwelcome. Her room suddenly felt stuffy. She could barely breath. She stood, gasping for air, and walked quickly out to the living room. There, she opened the window. A blast of cold air hit her and she inhaled, finally getting the oxygen she needed.

She hung there, half out the window, taking deep breaths of the cold, early September air. She stared down at the sidewalk below and wondered what it'd be like to simply slip out the window and fall. She wondered what the pavement would feel like if she crashed into it hard enough that her flesh melded with it, became part of it. All it would take was one little movement and she wouldn't have to worry anymore. No risk of being drugged again, no risk of hurting Chris again.

So easy to do.

Such a small movement.

Jill leaned forward.

So close.

Sudden clarity pierced her mind and she pulled her upper half back inside. In one harsh motion, she slammed the window shut. Her chest heaved with the breath she had nearly taken from herself. Her hands clutched at each other. She was terrified of herself more than any drug.

She scrambled to lock the window before stumbling away from it as though it could pull her through.

"Jill?" She jumped. Chris stood behind her, face filled with worry. "V, are you okay?" She shook her head no and he pulled her into his arms. "What's wrong?" he whispered before kissing her forehead. She clung to him, struggling to breath once again.

"I'm fucking scared," she answered in a hoarse voice. "Part of me wants to die and the rest of me is fucking terrified that it'll get it's wish!" He tightened his grip on her and lifted her up, gentle in his touches. He brought her into his room and set her down on the bed, laying down with her. "And those drugs he described won't work! They didn't before and they won't now!" He didn't ask any questions, just simply held her and listened. He knew that it was what she needed. She sobbed into his shoulder, trying to calm down enough to explain. It took what felt like an hour to her, but was only a few minutes. Taking deep gulps of air, she was finally able to speak normally, though tears still slipped down her face. "I tried anti-depressants before... They made it worse. I had these... Gruesome dreams. You dying... My dad being murdered... Claire trying... trying to... kill me." She squeezed her eyes shut and grabbed a handful of his shirt.

He rubbed circles on her back. 'Oh, V... It's okay. I won't let anyone make you take those pills." He kissed her cheek and brushed away her tears. "I love you, Jill. I won't ever let anyone hurt you..." She clung tighter, never wanting to be removed from his side.

Chris was just as scared as she. He knew he had come too close to losing her forever. He had only been out in the living room long enough to see her slam the window shut. The image of Jill plummetting to her death was all too familiar to him. The only differences here would have been a fall from an apartment building window instead of from that of a mansion and down a cliff. Either way, he would've lost her and that was something he wouldn't have been able to stand. She was the one person that was worth everything to him.

In that moment, he couldn't comfort her in the way he had in his Dream (a night of passion in which he gave her as much pleasure as she could stand), but he could hold her. And that seemed to be enough in her eyes.


	10. Chapter 9

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**If you just hold in your breath  
Til you come back up in full.  
Hold in your breath  
'til you thought it through, you fool.  
-Genius Next Door, Regina Spektor**

Jill sat beside Chris in the middle of the office before the chalk board. Tony stood before them as well. Three others from Alpha and Bravo stood around them. Joseph was one from Alpha, Richard the other. Rebecca had been borrowed from Bravo in order to take part in the drug bust as well.

The five had surrounded Alpha's captain (and the chalkboard) in order to be briefed once more on their assignments. They would leave that day to different hotels in the area, not including Rebecca who had family she could stay with. Rebecca was being placed in as one of the medical personal that stayed at the park. This was just in case any of the others on the mission were injured in any way. She would assume care of them until they made it to the hospital. The two men from Alpha were going to be janitors. This was they could wander the park and chat with other employees in order to learn more on the drug operations.

Jill and Chris were the center piece of the organization. They would go in as a couple that had gotten jobs there through a friend and were moving into the area. Until they found a favorable apartment, they were staying at a hotel, so the story went. Chris was the bait to the drug dealers. He had IV marks all over his arms from his time at the hospital. They would see it and assume he would want to buy. Both Jill and Chris would hint about drugs. If the plan worked, they'd know who to buy from within a week. And then the rest of Alpha and Bravo would storm in and arrest all those who were involved.

"Check into your hotels and report in to me by three. Work starts at ten tomorrow for Chris and Jill, eight for the rest of you. Don't show up together. Again, the exception is Chris and Jill." Tony gave both a look. "You two need to remember; as soon as you step out of this office, you're dating. Hold hands. Play it up. Act like a couple." Both nodded. "All of you need to stay in character. Your rooms are reserved under your fake names." The man shrugged. "I think that's it. You should have your luggage in your cars, so you're free to go. Like I said, check in by three."

The five stood and Chris spoke to Jill. "I've got to grab something from my desk."

"Okay. I'll wait in the car." She turned away and quickly caught up to Rebecca.

"You excited?" The younger woman asked. "You get to stay in the hotel room with Chris. I bet he's grabbing condoms from his desk." She smirked. Jill rolled her eyes.

"I'm not dating him," Jill said.

"Yes, you are! We're not in the office."

"No, Jill Montenegro is dating Chris Adams. Besides, how do you even know what a condom is? You're like, twelve."

It was Rebecca's turn to roll her eyes. "I'm twenty, Jill. Not twelve. I may be younger than everyone else on the team, but that doesn't mean I've never had sex. I have a boyfriend."

"I know, I know. Billy, right?"

Rebecca nodded. "Yes. But We weren't talking about he and I. We were talking about how you're spending a week at a hotel with Chris."

Jill sighed and, as they left the building, went to her car. "Goodbye, Rebecca." The younger woman went her own way, mumbling about Jill's denial. Jill climbed in the driver's seat and leaned it back, closing her eyes. She hadn't gotten much sleep since three days prior, when Chris had held her after she had nearly committed suicide. Since then, she had been afraid to leave her room at night, afraid the window would beckon again. She sat up at night alone in her room, thinking over everything. Crying, sometimes. But she didn't go to Chris. She didn't want to annoy him or keep him up. She hoped that the hotel had two rooms with beds instead of one. That way he wouldn't see her every night struggle to fall asleep and ignore the world for a few hours.

She jumped as the door was opened.

"Tired, Jill?" Chris asked as he sat in the passenger's seat. "I can drive if you want."

She shook her head. "It's fine. You ready?"

He nodded.

* * *

They arrived at the hotel around two. It was an hour outside of Raccoon City. "We can grab our stuff after we check in," Jill said.

"Yeah. Oh, wait, don't get out." He jumped out of the car himself and went around to her side to open the door. She couldn't help but blush as she stepped out.

"Thanks, Chris."

"Anything for my girlfriend." He winked at her, completely loving his roll. She rolled her eyes but smiled. As they walked into the hotel, Chris took her hand and squeezed it. He was looking forward to the week they were about to spend as a couple.

The pair walked up to the woman at the counter. "Hi, we have a reservation."

"Under what name, dear?" the woman asked.

Jill frowned and looked at Chris. "Is it under your name or mine?" He shrugged. And she turned back to the woman. "It's either under Montenegro or Adams."

The woman took a moment to look at the computer screen. "Chris Adams?" Both Jill and Chris nodded. "Room thirty-four. On the top floor." She smiled and handed the two their room keys. "You're prepaid, so go on up."

seven thanked her and she directed them to the elevator.

"Excited to be back on the job?" Jill asked Chris after the elevator closed.

He nodded and grinned. "I'm glad I get to play this part. Chris Adams is a lucky guy to be dating such a beautiful woman."

She blushed again. "Chris..."

"I'm just telling it how it is." The doors to the elevator opened. "Let's go, Jill. I'll carry you, if you want," he offered, still grinning.

She squeezed his hand and let herself smirk. "Save it, Chrizzly Bear."

"Please?"

"Later," she laughed.

He pulled her close. "Promise?"

She blushed for the umpteenth time that day and pulled away. "C'mon, Chris. Let's get to our room." He followed her happily until they reached room thirty-seven. "Here we are." She used the card key to open the door and was surprised upon entering the room. "There's only one bed." Chris couldn't help but feel a little lucky at that. She sighed. "I'm fine with sharing a bed with you, but I'm calling Tony. He should've asked if we wanted a bigger room." She pulled out her phone and dialed the captain's number.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Tony, it's Jill. Why do Chris and I have a hotel room with only one bed?"

The man sighed. "When I first booked the rooms, it was only going to be you in that room. I tried to change it when Chris came back on, but there weren't any open. You two will have to either share a bed or have someone sleep on a couch."

"Whatever. Fine." She closed the phone without saying goodbye. "He messed up."

"I'll sleep on the couch, if you want."

She shook her head. "I'll take the couch. You take the bed."

He frowned. "I won't let you take the couch. You deserve it more."

She huffed. She'd get no where with him. "We'll share it then."

He smiled. "Works for me."

She smirked and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know it does, you big bear."

He proved the nickname true when he wrapped her in a bear hug and tossed her down on the bed a moment later. He flopped down beside her. "I should go get our stuff," he stated.

"I'll go too," she said, sitting up. He pulled her back down.

"Nuh-uh. You're going to stay here and relax while I go get the stuff. I can manage without you. It's just two suitcases."

"You're such a gentleman." He kissed her forehead and disappeared into the hall.

Jill sighed. He was too. So perfect and better than her. She rolled over and shoved her face into the pillow. She blocked out everything for a few minutes. Her lack of wanting to pay attention made her jump when a hand touched her back. She rolled over again and looked up at Chris.

"You look tired," he mumbled. She shrugged. "Wanna order some food?"

"And spend the RPD's money? Definitely." He sat down at the edge of the bed and picked up the phone.

* * *

During dinner, Jill thought of something. Their act as a couple.

"Chris?" she spoke.

"Hm?" he looked up from his meal.

"We need rules."

"For this week?" She nodded. "Okay. What do you have in mind?"

"Well, for our couples act, what should we do? I don't think just holding hands will convince people." She set her fork down on her plate, placed the plate on the table and waited for his answer.

"Are you okay with kissing me? Because we can do that."

She nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine with that. But what about other stuff?"

"Like what?"

"Well, we really have to act like a couple. But what stage of being a couple are we on? How many years have we been dating? How did we meet?" She wanted these answered so blanks could be filled and, when asked, she could reply smoothly.

He set his food to the side. "Hmm... Hows four years sound for the time?"

"Good."

"And we met... Back in high scool and ran into each other again when I transferred to your college."

"Okay."

"As for the stage of our relationship..." He scootched over and pulled her against his side. "I'm about to ask you to marry me. But you don't know it yet."

She smiled. "Well, aren't you a romantic?"

"I try," he replied simply. He paused. "Jill?"

"Yes, Bearfield?"

"Can I have a kiss? Now?"

She hesitated, but finally gave him a nod. She moved up and kiss him lightly on the lips. The contact lasted less than half a minute, but their eyes slipped closed and Jill found herself tempted to bring the kiss a step farther. She pulled away, defying temptation.

"We should go to bed," she murmured. He nodded and stood, moving to take care of their plates. When he finished, he switched the lights off and he moved over to the bed where she was already under the blankets.

"Still okay with me joining you?" he asked in a low voice. She nodded, pulled the blanket back, and held out her arms toward him, indicating he was needed there. He slipped into bed beside her and she wrapped her arms around him. He did the same for her, keeping her close.

Chris was asleep in only a few minutes, his grip loose around her.

Jill, though. She remained awake. She studied his sleeping face, so peaceful and soft. She didn't move in fear of waking him. If he knew that she still had trouble sleeping, he'd worry. She wasn't worth his worry.

She pressed her forehead against the center of his chest. He murmured her name in his sleep, tightening his hold on the small woman. She couldn't help but smile. He was warm and she was anchored in his arms.

She fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 10

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**I'm adoring you**  
**It's all good**  
**You're so beautiful**  
**I'm black and blue all over**  
**You're breaking my flow  
- It's Good to be in Love**

"You're pretty," Chris stated as Jill stepped out of the bathroom. She was freshly showered and wore the "uniform" (the amusement park's Staff t-shirt and a pair of jeans). She rolled her eyes.

"Save it, Bearfield."

"Ah, ah, ah. You can't call me Bearfield today." He pulled her into a hug. "And you are pretty. Beautiful, actually."

"Save it then, Bear." She looked up at him. "Ready to go?"

He nodded as he let her go, then smiled. "Why yes I am, Miss Montenegro." He took her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "Let's go."

He led the way out of the hotel, her hand clasped in his. He opened her door for her and she rolled her eyes. "I hope you realize that I'm going to brag about you."

"Good. I'm going to brag about you too. In all the best ways," he replied with a grin.

"Oh, so you're that kind of boyfriend."

"What kind of boyfriend doesn't brag about his sexual exploits with his girlfriend? Especially with such a beautiful girlfriend." He gave her hand a squeeze.

She rolled her eyes again, but couldn't keep the smirk off her face. "And how are you going to make up these so called sexual exploits?"

He tapped the side of his head. "Well, I've got what we did in the Dream. If that's not enough I don't know what I'll do."

She blushed. "I fulfilled your fantasy, huh?"

He smiled a sad smile. "V, you were my fantasy." You still are, he added in his head.

She hesitated to reply. Her voice had the slightest tremor in it when she did. "Can't call me V today, remember?"

He hummed lightly. "I'll have to figure out another nickname for you for the week, huh?" She nodded.

The rest of the car ride was silent, apart from Jill's humming.

* * *

"You two are the new workers?" The woman that spoke had short red hair and appeared to be around Jill's age, if not younger. The three of them stood in the staff room of the amusement park.

"Yeah," Chris answered. "I'm Chris and this is Jill."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Hannah." She held her hand out and they both shook it. "Jill, you're working on the swings today with Jack, ironically. Chris, you and I will be running the smallest roller coaster, Bear Tracks." She looked them over. "Ever been here before?" Both shook their heads no. "Oh, well it's the average amusement park. Screaming kids, rebellious teens. Really, the only thing you two will have to do for your first week is checking kids' height or work a few of the games. You also have a set lunch for the next two weeks."

"Set lunch?" Jill asked.

Hannah nodded. "It means you'll have the same lunch. We have three different lunch breaks. The first is from eleven to twelve, the second from twelve ten to one ten, the third from one twenty to two twenty." She pointed to the white board on the wall. "You both have second lunch."

"Cool," Chris said with a smile, looking down at Jill.

Hannah looked between the them. "You two together?" Jill blushed and nodded. Hannah smiled. "Cute." She led the pair from the staff room and through the park. When they reached the swings, Jill pointed her to Jack. "He's right over there. Just go up and introduce yourself. And tell him your the new trainee."

The brunette nodded. "Okay." Jill took a few steps in that direction, but Chris stopped her.

"Jill, wait. I wanna hug first." She gave him a smile and a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. They parted and Jill went her own way.

Hannah had watched the scene, a soft smile on her face. "How long have you two been dating?" she questioned.

"Four years," he answered, followed her as she led the way to the roller coaster.

"You're cute together."

He smiled. "Thanks."

They arrived at the coaster and Hannah removed the "closed" sign from the entrance. "Okay, I'll show you how to make sure someone is buckled right." She pointed at one of the seats. "Just make sure it's not loose and the person's arms are out the sides. It's really simple. Not too hard to understand."

He nodded. "Got it."

"After lunch I've got to show you and Jill how to run certain games."

"Do you usually train the new employees?"

She shook her head. "No, we all take turns. Obviously, it's my turn. I'm lucky it's just you two. About a month ago, Jack had four people to train, two of them complete jerks."

Chris chuckled. "Jill and I try to be good when it comes to being jerks."

"But you two are nice," Hannah commented.

He shrugged. "We all have our off days."

* * *

Lunch came faster than Jill expected. She left the swings and headed for the car to grab her wallet. Her phone rang on her way back in.

"Hello?"

"Where are you, Jill? We should eat lunch together."

"I'm on my way back into the park. I had to grab my wallet. Meet me at the food stand by... The Tower. You know, the thing that goes up and shows you the scenery? I just got there." She looked up at The Tower as she sat down at an empty picnic table.

"Okay. See you in a minute! Love you!" He hung up.

She put her phone in her pocket and stretched. She wasn't a fan of working at an amusement park, having worked at one as a teenager. The only positive about working undercover at one was her "relationship" with Chris. She could kiss him, hug him, or almost anything as long as it wasn't too intimate. Then again, they were sleeping in the same bed.

"Hey, Jillybean," a voice said close to her ear as arms wrapped around her from behind.

"Really, Chris. That's the nickname you thought of?"

He chuckled and kissed her cheek. "Yup."

"Well, I guess it could be worse." She smiled. "Let's get lunch."

"I'm paying for yours," he stated, removing his wallet from his pocket.

"That's not neccesary, Bear."

"I say it is, so I'm going to do it." She stood up and he took her hand, walking with her to the food stand. "What do you want?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "I dunno. Something small. I'm not very hungry."

"We could get the burger and split it. Or the chicken tenders."

"Chicken tenders sound good," she answered. He kissed her cheek before stepping up to order.

"Hey, Jill!" Hannah greeted as she approached. "Mind if I eat with you and Chris? Unless I'm interrupted a lunch date thing, of course."

"No, it's fine," the brunette answered. "We're like having new friends."

"Thanks," Hannah said, a bit of relief in her voice. "My boyfriend usually visits me for lunch, but he hasn't been able to make it lately."

"Well, like I said. You're welcome to eat lunch with us." Chris returned, Jill's and his own meal in his hands. "Babe, Hannah is gonna join us," she informed.

He nodded. "Okay."

"I've gotta get my lunch first, so I'll join you at your table after I do," Hannah spoke.

"We'll be right over there." Jill pointed to the picnic table that she had sat at before.

The three split, Chris and Jill heading for the table. They sat close together, Chris placing an arm around her waist. Chris grinned. She thinks we're a cute couple."

"How do you know that?" She grabbed a fry off the plate and popped it into her mouth.

"She told me." He pressed his lips to temple and murmured, "I think she's right."

She sighed. "It's because you're a good actor."

He smiled. "I'm not acting, Jillybean."

She rolled her eyes, but couldn't hold back a small smile. He made her feel good, better than she usually did. Even though the relationship was fake, a week as his "girlfriend" would do her good. She was less likely to be recommended those pills, that was for sure. He made her happy, and that made her thankful. She "played her part" and kissed him. He accepted it happily, responding with enthusiasm. They seperated when Hannah approached.

"I can find someone else to eat lunch with if you two would rather be alone," the redhead chuckled.

Jill smirked and shook her head. "He and I have time for kissing and more later." Chris did his best to hide the blush on his face at the thought of doing anything further than kissing her. It really didn't help that they shared a bed (though he wouldn't give that up for anything).

Hannah rolled her eyes and put down her plate, taking her seat. They chatted, Jill and Chris trying to find any hint at drug use from Hannah. They didn't get the impression she did any drugs, but impressions were only 50/50 things. She actually seemed really nice. Jill hoped she had no part in the underground drug deal going on. When they finished lunch (a half an hour earlier than when the lunch break ended), Hannah stood. "I'm gonna go get a ciggarette while I've got time. Meet me by skeeball after lunch break is over." And like that, Chris and Jill were alone. Well, as alone as two people could be in an amusement park. It was the off season, though, so the park wasn't too busy.

"What do you think?" Jill asked, standing up and stretching.

"I think we should go on a ride together." He winked at her, which she took as "we'll talk later".

"Yeah, okay."

A surprised look found it's way to Chris's face. "Okay?"

She looked up at him. "Okay."

"Just like that?"

"Just like what?" She arched an eyebrow, a smirk on her face.

"You said yes without thinking. Without arguing."

She shrugged. "I can't be okay with going on a ride with my boyfriend?" She winked at him.

He grinned. "What if I wanna go on the Tunnel of Love?"

The brunette rolled her eyes. "There's no Tunnel of Love at this park."

He glanced up at the ride behind him. "There's The Tower."

"I'll go on The Tower with you."

He grinned and pulled her into a hug. "Let's go then!" As they stepped into line, he grabbed her hand. "You know the thing that goes with The Tower, right?"

She nodded, rolling her eyes again. "Yes, I do."

"You're okay with kissing me?"

"I wonder. How many times have we kissed today?"

"A couple. That doesn't mean you're okay with it."

She wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek on his shoulder. "I am perfectly okay with it, Chris. Even outside of work, you can ask for a kiss anytime. Within reason, of course." He was tempted to ask for one right then, but he could wait until they boarded The Tower.

The line moved forward until they were on the ride. Benches went in an outward facing circle around the thing, all able to fit two people at most, though that depended on the size of the people.

Jill and Chris fit nicely together onto one. He put his arm around her and she leaned into his side. The ride was practically empty, so they wouldn't have any qualms about kissing in a crowded place. The brunette closed her eyes, cheek on his shoulder. "Chris?"

"Yeah, V?" he murmured. They both ignored the slip up.

"I'm really glad you're back."

"I'm really glad I'm back too."

She stretched up to kiss him, their lips finding each other as love hungry lips often do.


	12. Chapter 11

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**I'll stay with you  
But remember to be careful what you do  
'Cause I'm not bulletproof  
-Bulletproof, Kerli**

The day had mostly been uneventful for Jerry, the ambulance driver, and his partner Paul. They were returning from a false alarm call about a heart attack (the person had been fine, simply some heart burn), when another came in over the radio in the form of a woman's voice.

"Officer shot! Ambulance needed at 2109 Oak Street, Oak Grove Amusement park, respond immediately!"

Jerry picked up his side of the radio and spoke quickly. "Unit 791 responding. ETA five minutes."

A police officer shot in an amusement park? What was wrong with the world?

* * *

_Two days earlier_

"Come on! Hurry up, Bear!" Jill called. "We're going to be late!"

"Hold on a second!"

"Hurry!" The door to the bathroom opened to Chris drying off his hair with a towel. He tossed it back into the bathroom, grabbed his hoodie off the bed and rushed out the door behind Jill. "Hannah is our only lead," Jill mumbled as she pulled him down the hallway by his hand. "If we don't get there on time, I won't be able to work a ride with her, which means I won't be able to put my plan into action, which means we won't be able to find out who the dealer and/or dealers are, which means we can't arrest them, which means we won't finish this case!"

"Your plan?" he asked.

"I'll explain in the car."

He waited patiently for her to drag him out of the lobby and lead him to the car. As he had for the past week, he opened her door for her first. She thanked him and got in.

"So what's this plan of yours?" He immediately took her hand (as he always did) after she started up the car.

"Well, I'm going to play the enabler girlfriend. I'll say that I want to get you some drugs for your birthday or something. Hopefully she'll say she knows where I can score some. And then we'll alert the others and tomorrow we'll make the bust."

"Sounds pretty good. Do you think she's guilty of anything?"

Jill bit her lip. "Well… I think so. I mean, when she smokes it certainly doesn't smell like a normal cigarettes." She glanced over at him and rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you used to smoke."

He looked down sheepishly. "Sorry. At least I stopped."

"Yeah yeah. At least you don't smell like smoke anymore. It's a disgusting habit." He nodded, agreeing with her.

"I know, I know."

They arrived at the amusement park. As they walked inside, their hands found each other and held tight.

"Hey, Hannah," Jill greeted upon seeing the woman.

"Morning, Jill," Hannah answered. "Ready? You and I are working the swings today. Chris, you've got skeeball."

He nodded. "Okay." He turned to Jill. "See you at lunch, babe." He leaned down to give her a kiss before heading off towards skeeball.

Hannah led the way to the swings and took down the "closed" sign. "People are gonna start showing up soon. Wanna try your hand at operating the ride?"

Jill shrugged. "Sure."

With a practiced, if not a bit rusty, technique, Jill started up the ride. "This is your first time doing this, right?"

"My first time doing this here," Jill answered. "I used to work at a park back in my junior year of high school. The year before I met Chris, actually."

"Oh, cool. But you two didn't start dating then, did you? Chris said you've only been together for four years."

"We started dating in college. In high school, it was really more of just a fling. We met originally at a party. The short version is he passed me a joint and we ended up sleeping together."

"You two smoke?" Hannah was surprised. The two didn't seem like drug users.

"Well, I used to. But I don't like the smoke part in smoking. But he still does sometimes. As well as a little coke, but that's rare." Jill acted nonchalant. "I was going to get him some for his birthday that's next weekend, but I couldn't find a seller."

Hannah looked fully at her friend as the ride came to a stop. "I might be able to help you out there."

The brunette tilted her head. "Really?"

Her friend nodded. "Yeah... My boyfriend can sell you some. He'll be here for lunch tomorrow."

Jill smiled. "That'd be great! I really wanted to get something Chris could enjoy. And part two is a wild night of anything he wants."

"I'm sure he'll love that," Hannah joked. They both chuckled.

* * *

"Do you need to shower?" Jill asked, sitting up and stretching.

He shook his head. "No. I did this morning."

"Then I'm going to go shower." She stood and disappeared into the bathroom.

He had a fleeting thought of how, had things been like what they were in the dream, he would have joined her and made love before actually cleaning.

He heard the water start and couldn't help but think of her undressing. First her shirt, showing off that beautiful torso. Then the bra, exposing soft, supple flesh. Then pants and underwear would go at once showing... He couldn't even think about it without wanting to charge in there and push her against the wall in the shower. Make her writhe in pleasure as he had done so many times before in the Dream.

He tried to focus on the TV. He succeeded for the most part until the water stopped a half an hour later. Not much later, his name was called. "What is it?" he replied.

"Can you get my pyjamas and hand them to me please?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Where are they?"

"On my suitcase."

He got up and went over to it. It had nothing on top of it. "They aren't here."

She was silent for a moment. "Try the closet."

"Nope."

She sighed. "I'll find them."

Before he could protest, she opened the door, a towel wrapped around her slim frame. He bit his lip and tried not to stare as she hurried out and opened her suitcase. He tried not to notice that as she bent to pick something up, part of her ass showed.

He immediately went to the bed and collapsed facedown. "You're torturing me, Jill."

She bit her lip and looked at him. "Sorry," she mumbled, trying to repeat to herself that she was with another man and she couldn't "help" the issue by sleeping with him.

She took her time getting dressed, not wanting to make an early appearance that might excite him further.

Instead she sat on the edge of the tub once she finished dressing and closed her eyes. After counting to a hundred to calm herself, she stood and left the bathroom. Chris was back on the couch. She sat down next to him, cuddling up.

"Ready for tomorrow?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I guess. I'm a little nervous though."

"I'll be right behind you the whole way," the marksman assured. "As will the others. When are you meeting up with him?"

"At lunch. Hannah'll bring me to where she usually meets with him." Jill leaned on him, curling in on herself. "I'm going to take my pistol and hide it under my jacket."

"Just be careful."

"I will."

* * *

"What's your excuse with Chris?" Hannah asked as Jill approached her.

"I told him you and I were gonna go do lady stuff," Jill chuckled. She was wired and had an earpiece in. The others could hear everything she spoke and everything those around her spoke.

Hannah laughed lightly. "But really you're getting part one of his present."

"Yup."

_"What's part two?"_ Richard's voice came over the earpiece.

Chris's followed. _"Yeah, what is part two? You never told me."_

_"I bet it's sex,"_ Rebecca chimed in.

Jill ignored the talk, smirking a bit. Jill Montenegro had been the one planning to take Chris Addams through quite the experience sexually. But she wasn't Jill Montenegro, at least, she wouldn't be that evening after the bust was completed.

Chris had allowed her to borrow his hoodie. It was huge on her, but extremely comfortable. Hidden under the side, tucked into the waist band of her pants, was her gun.

_"Jill, we're tracking you,"_ Joseph informed her via earpiece._ "Richard is right behind you and Chris is following after that. We're ready to make this bust."_

She mumbled, "Okay." Hannah gave no sign of hearing. "So, Hannah, Tell me about your boyfriend. You don't talk much about him."

Hannah smiled. "His name is Kevin, but everyone calls him Cutter. He's a good guy for the most part." She paused. "We're meeting him at the maintenance room of the retired roller coaster in the back of the park."

_"You heard the lady,"_ Joseph spoke._ "Rebecca, head that way. But don't be seen."_

The line went silent as Jill followed her lead back to the empty parts of the park. There were two rides that were no longer functioning; a roller coaster and a water ride. The water ride was almost completely disassembled, but the roller coaster was still in it's middle stages of being torn down. "This way," Hannah spoke, leading off to the right towards the coaster.

The maintenance room was down a small tunnel that had originally been a path for the coaster.

_"Be careful in there, Jill..."_ Chris mumbled over the head piece. She wanted to reply, but she couldn't with Hannah so close.

_"All right team. Advance on location and wait for further orders."_

The tunnel was dark and damp, but some light could be seen from under the edge of a door. "Almost there," the redhead informed. Reaching the door, she knocked three times, paused, and then knocked twice more before opening the door.

She held it open for Jill who stepped inside. Jill glanced around. The room was sparsely furnished, only some chairs, a table, and a large piece of machinery that had been used to run the ride. In the far corner away from her was a man. He held a cigarette between two fingers. He was about six foot tall with dark brown hair. She knew exactly who he was.

He turned to face her.

"Cuilter."

He made a fast movement before she could do anything. Suddenly, Jill was on the ground staring up with one hand touching the wound on her chest. Hannah let out a shriek. "J, Jill!"

When the gunshot sounded on the other end of the earpiece, they all jumped. The faint sound of Jill's voice trying to form words that couldn't make it past her lips.

_"Gunshot fired! Get the hell in there!"_

Chris was the first one inside. He saw Jill on the ground, blood pouring from a hole in her chest. Hannah was on the ground as well, hands bloody from having tried to stop the blood. Cuilter had a hand on her throat, not noticing Chris frozen in the door way.

A loud smack was heard as Chris sent his fist into the side of Cuilter's face. The man released Hannah, who gasped for air and collapsed. Chris didn't pay attention to anything else. He was beside the barely conscious Jill, hands pressing down on the source of the blood. "Oh, Jill, stay with me... Jill, please..." He was vaguely aware of the activity around him, the arrest of Cuilter as well as Hannah. He heard Rebecca's voice telling him to maintain pressure and then her short call for an ambulance. He watched blood soaking into his own hoodie on her frail body before his eyes met hers. She stared back at him, dull and listless. Tears were already at the edges of his eyes, his voice broken at he watched the woman he loved slip away. "Jill... I love you, you have to stay with me! Come on, you can make it! Jill!" Blood was covering his hands, the ones in which he shifted as he tried to increase pressure and stop the blood from welling up as fast as it was.

Her lips moved, silently saying some word or other before her eyes slipped closed and her body went slack.


	13. Chapter 12

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**Please, don't tell me any more.  
There's a weight in your eyes.  
And it weighs on my heart.  
- Have We Lost?, Flyleaf**

The beep of the heart monitor was a constant sound that Chris was thankful for. Jill was motionless on the bed before him. She was hooked to an IV that pumped nutrients into her system. She hadn't woken up for the past day after having surgery directly after arriving at the hospital.

The bullet had entered her chest at a diagonal, knicking her sternum and burying itself deep into the flesh on her lower shoulder. The fact she hadn't bled out back at the park was a miracle. He had ridden in the ambulance with her, following the instruction of both Rebecca and the operator in the ambulance.

The entire time his heart had beat frantically, praying to every being that ever existed and every god that had ever been believed in for her to be okay. So far, she hadn't moved other than the steady movement of her chest as she breathed.

He was positioned in a chair beside the bed. He couldn't help but wonder if what he was feeling right then was what she had felt like while he was on the hospital bed; hopeless and scared and so very much in pain.

He reached over and slipped his hand under hers, gently bringing his fingers over her palm. "Jill…" he murmured. "I love you…"

There was no response from the woman.

Someone entered the room and Chris turned to see who it was, but he refused to let go of his lover—his partner's hand. "Hey, Betty…"

She looked at him with a deep frown on her face. "You two weren't supposed to be back in the hospital. Especially not for something like this." She sat in the second chair in the room. "How'd this happen?"

Chris gritted his teeth. "We were undercover for a drug bust… She was our main player and she was the one who went in first as the buyer. The dealer ended up being Cuilter, that shrink that they sent in for me when I first woke up from my coma. He recognized her and… shot."

Betty's expression grew dark. "I wish I could hurt him. I really do. She's such a great person and he…" Anger boiled up in a noise of frustration. "This… Freaking sucks."

Chris nodded. "Yeah. It really does."

Betty stood and grabbed the clipboard off the end of the bed. "She's in stable condition... But it doesn't say when she might wake up."

"The doctor said anywhere from a day to a week."

Betty didn't say anything, simply pretended that she was examining the words on the clipboard closer. In reality, she was holding back the want to cry. When Chris had first been admitted, the doctors had said a day to a week. She bit her lip. A few short days into that week, they changed it to much longer. What if Jill didn't wake up in a week? What if she didn't in a month or longer? The common sense part of Betty's brain was telling her she was over-reacting. It wasn't very likely that Jill was in a coma like the one Chris had, not for a bullet wound. But the side of her that was Jill's friend was worrying incesantly for the brunette on the bed, not to mention Chris. The marksman had only just woken from a coma and now his best friend had the chance to fall into one. That wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

In Betty's opinion, the two should've gotten together already (she knew she was that friend, the one that always tried to find the best person to fit with another). Chris was perfect for Jill, as far as Betty was concerned. He was sweet to her and gentle and protective too. Simply perfect for the private, depressed, but boundless brunette.

Betty set the clip board back down and returned to her chair. She planned on spending her break waiting for Jill to wake up. Hopefully it would comfort Chris too, to have someone there.

* * *

Claire stepped into the hospital room, completely hesitant. Chris was sitting in his usual chair (work had no use for him in the state he was in).

"Hey," she spoke softly, catching her brother's attention.

He smiled, though it was half-hearted. "Hey, Claire. I'm glad you got to visit."

She nodded and stood awkwardly. Her eyes went between Jill's unconscious form and Chris's slumped shoulders.

"When's the last time you were out of the room?" she asked.

He thought for a moment. "Yesterday morning."

Claire frowned. "You should get up and walk around a bit. Stretch your legs."

He shook his head. "I have to be here when she wakes up. I have to." He sighed. "She was there for me, I have to be there for her."

Claire bit her lip. "Chris, you'll be here when she wakes up. Trust me."

"But-"

"No buts. Just get up and walk around a little. Maybe find a vending machine and get some juice. You can't just sit here, big brother."

He frowned. "Fine..." He stood and with a glance at Jill, he left the room.

Claire took his seat for the time being. Jill looked tiny and fragile on the hospital bed. She didn't know why, but a shiver passed down her spine. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"I'm so sorry, Jill!" Her voice cracked. "I should never have said that horrible thing I did. You didn't deserve it..." Tears started to fall. "But you can't hear me say this! Why am I so stupid..?" She let out a sob. "You have to be alright, Jill, you have to be... For Chris, for me, for all of us. Please, Jill, please." The sobs took over as she looked at the unmoving figure of Jill on the bed. She felt so horrible about the last thing she had said to Jill; that horrible remark placing blame on Jill for Chris's accident. Her sobs increased. What if Jill never woke up? Claire could never really apologize...

Outside the door, Chris stood, eyes closed and back against the wall, listening to his sister sob. He let his back slide down the wall and rested his head in his hands. Why did everything insist on being so messed up?

He waited until Claire had quieted before returning to the room. Claire was wiping away the last of her tears when he entered. He didn't comment, not at first . But when she looked up at him, a look of pure sorrow on her face, he had to speak.

"When she wakes up," When, not if. "You should talk to her. She needs as many friends as she can get."

Claire wiped under her eye with the sleeve of her jacket. "Is something going on with her?"

He frowned. "She's told me things I've never wanted to hear, not from her. I don't like leaving her alone and I think she feels the same way about it. She scares herself when she's alone." He brushed a hand through his hair, eyes on Jill's face. "Something almost happened, she almost..." he trailed off. "I'm staying with at her place as long as I can."

Claire could tell what he meant by "something"; he didn't need to say anymore than that.

Jill was suicidal.

Had Jill's mood really fallen to that low place?

Claire tensed, eyes falling on Jill's sleeping figure. She held back another bout of tears. She felt guilty for shunning the woman for the past two years. Horribly, achingly guilty. Chris's accident hadn't been Jill's fault... Claire knew that. She hadn't thought before speaking before and since then had been overcome with regret. No one but the bomber was to blame for Chris's accident.

Claire pulled her legs up onto the chair and hugged them. She had been a cause. Not** _the_** cause, but a cause. After Chris had fallen into his coma, she had looked for someone, anyone to blame. That blame had fallen on Jill. Jill had been the one Chris had protected from the blast. But that didn't prove Jill's guilt, only Chris's commitment to her. No, Claire had been wrong to say or think such things. And by abandoning Jill after the temporary loss of Chris, she had helped the depression take over in the brunette. She remembered being close friends with the woman, visiting her often and teasing her about Chris. So much had changed now, to the point that Jill might never open her eyes again.

A crippling wave of anxiety washed over Claire. What if Jill never woke up? What if her eyes were doomed to stay closed, her mouth to never speak, her lungs never to breath? Chris would be crushed, as would Claire.

She gritted her teeth and looked at her watch. She'd have to rush to make it back to work. She stood and hugged her brother. He held her tightly, enough so she could feel the sadness in his body. "I've got to get to work," she mumbled as she stepped away. "Call me when she wakes up."

He nodded. "I will."


	14. Chapter 13

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**How could the world have turned so ugly?**  
**I am dying.**  
**Could you touch me again?**  
**Touch me again.**  
**- Swan Song, A Fine Frenzy**

Jill was first aware of sounds. She could hear a steady beeping, someone breathing, and the sound of people moving around, but muted. Next came sensation. She could feel a blanket over a majority of her body. She had something taped to her right hand. And her left hand was being held. A dull ache occupied her shoulder. Then came the ability to move. She shifted only a little at first, her hand twitching a bit. Eventually, she opened her eyes and managed to look around. Her hospital room looked almost identical to the one Chris had been in.

Speaking of Chris. He was seated in the chair beside her, his hand holding to hers. "Jill!" he spoke happily, a smile lighting up his face. "Thank God you're awake." He leaned forward and brushed his hand over her cheek. She leaned against it as she fought to think back to the reason.

"I... I was shot."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"How badly?" She could feel where, but she didn't want to risk looking down at the area to see the bandages.

"It'll take a while to heal. The stitches will be out in a couple weeks, but the bullet hit your bone. That will take a lot longer, but as long as you don't put too much strain on it, it'll be fine."

Jill held his hand against her face. "How long have I been out?"

He moved his thumb back and forth under her eye, rubbing gently. "About three days. Once we got you to the hospital, they put you in surgery."

"And Cuilter?"

"Arrested. As well as Hannah."

Jill's eyes grew wide. "But Hannah shouldn't be. She tried to help me!" Jill held Chris's wrist tight in her grip. "She tried to stop the bleeding!"

He shrugged, looking down at his lap. "She's considered an accomplice to the crime. The trial on them both starts today. She refused to be grouped with him, though, because she didn't have anything to do with you being shot."

"He'll be convicted, right?"

"Well, he's already got a two-year term for selling drugs within 1,500ft of a place that deals mainly with children as costumers."

"That's not long enough!"

"Wait a second, you didn't let me finish." She rolled her eyes but remained quiet. "He's on trial for shooting you, and for the kind of drugs he was dealing. Hannah is only being charged with the selling of drugs and the usage of drugs. She'll have a much shorter sentence than him, don't worry."

Jill dropped his hand and frowned. "I suppose that's better. How long will the trial last?"

"They want it to go as quickly as possible. They don't want it longer than half a month." He trailed his hand down her arm. Once he reached her hand again, he picked it up and kissed the back of it before releasing it. His face lit up as he remembered something. "Oh! I've got to go get Betty. Or would you rather wait until she shows up on her break?"

Jill glanced around the room. She saw her cellphone on the nightstand and wondered if anyone had thought to call Payton. "You can go get her... Please."

He nodded and was out of the room in half a second. She reached for her phone, cringing as her stitches were tugged a bit by the effort. Her finger tips grazed it, managing to bring it closer enough so she could pick it up. It took a moment to find Payton in her contacts. She hit talk and put the phone to her ear. It rang and rang until voice mail picked up. She sighed and redialed the number. It stopped ringing after just three times. She swore and gripped her phone tight in her hand, wishing she could crush it.

She looked down and pulled back the hospital gown she was in so she could see the bandage on her chest . It looked just the same as any other bandage she had gotten, though much bigger. She hesitantly touched the outside of it and cringed. She gently placed the thin fabric back over the bandage and shook her head. She had thought that the bullet was going to kill her. She had expected to die and had embraced it. She had tried to say her last words to Chris before passing out, but she wasn't sure if she had or not.

Did he know?

No, he couldn't know.

He would act different towards her if he did. But he acted as if everything was the same as before. He was affectionate, but hadn't been anything other than that. That was who he was. Well, towards her at least. Towards others, he was different. He had anger issues, she knew that. She had been lucid when he had hit Cuilter and was sure the dealer had been left with a harsh bruise. She also knew, had she not been bleeding out on the ground, Cuilter would have gotten more than just one punch. Chris wasn't easily calmed by anyone but Claire and Jill.

Claire. She hadn't spoken to the woman since Chris was still in the hospital. Jill had seen the redhead in the vague dreams that had floated in and out of her head in her days of unconsciousness. Along with Claire, Chris made frequent appearances, sometimes awake, sometimes back in his coma. Her father had been there too. Payton had barely even registered in the dream. Chris was really the only constant in the dream, and Jill knew exactly why.

She had already admitted it to herself, but she didn't want to. She could never tell him either, not with what she had done. If she had just stopped that damn bomb from blowing, she would've already tried to get in a relationship with him. Payton was nothing to her. She felt mean thinking it, but it was true. He was a distraction, an excuse. If Chris knew she was in a relationship, he wouldn't attempt to get closer. She couldn't handle that, not when she felt responsible for the accident that had taken away over two years of his life and sent him into a dark dream full of monsters.

She was in love with Chris Redfield.

She had only admitted it to herself when he was suddenly there over her, trying to keep her blood in her body. Seeing him made her somehow okay with her own death. She felt okay in knowing that her last moments would be composed of seeing his face, as long as she could say her last words to him;_ "I love you"_.

But the words must not have formed well enough to be understood, or maybe she just hadn't said it loud enough. Or maybe he was just acting like he hadn't heard it and would ask about it later.

"Jill!" Betty stood at the doorway. "Jill, sweetie, why'd you have to go and get shot?" She entered the room and Chris followed behind.

Jill couldn't help but smile at her friend's words. "I didn't mean to. It's not like I wanted it to happen."

Betty sighed. "Hun, you gotta be careful."

"I know, I know."

The blonde looked back at Chris. "Oh, Chris. I'm gonna pull some strings so you can stay here tonight. Someone needs to watch Jill and make sure she doesn't get into anymore trouble."

He chuckled. "I'd be happy to stay here tonight. Is that okay with you, Jill?"

She nodded. "Yes," she answered quickly. "Please."

Their eyes met for a few seconds, something Betty took notice of. She didn't interrupt it.

Jill closed her eyes after a few moments. When she opened them again, they were directed at Betty. "Betty, when can I be released?"

The blonde nurse snatched up the clipboard off of the end of the bed. "It says next Wednesday on here."

"But that's almost a week away!" Jill exclaimed. "I don't want to be here that long!" She frowned, almost angry.

Betty shrugged. "You've got to heal up. It'll be another two weeks until you can get your stitches out." Jill huffed and threw her hands down on the bed. Betty rolled her eyes. "Oh, get over it. You've got this hunk of man here to keep you company." She gestured to Chris before making him sit back down in the chair beside the bed.

Jill smiled a bit, hoping he'd take her hand or something where they made contact. She wanted him close... He did indeed take her hand, holding it firmly in his grasp.

Jill squeezed his hand before speaking again. "But can't I get out of here in a couple of days? I mean, even if I can only do paperwork at work-"

"Jill, you aren't going back to work for another week and a half at least. As for getting out of here, I'm pretty sure that you'll have to wait until Wednesday."

Jill made a sound like a growl. "I hate hospitals."

Betty chuckled. "So does everyone. Now, I have to get back to work. I'll check in on you later." With that, she made her exit.

Jill and Chris talked for hours about everything they could, even the Dream. He was honest in all his answers and detailed. Her questions included details on where they lived, who they knew, and their inside jokes. He asked if she had dreamt anything in the short time she was unconcious. She told him of the faded images that had floated through her mind and how he had often been among them.

After dark, she began grew tired. Chris was reassured by Betty that he could stay, so he did, settling himself down in his chair.

Jill looked at him, tired eyes wide and hopeful. She wanted him to be close to her again and snuggle her.

"Chris?"

"Yeah, Jill?"

"Will you lay down with me?" He nodded and moved to her uninjured side. There, he settled in on his side, an arm over her stomach. She turned her head to kiss him, briefly. He nuzzled against her and her voiced sounded again. "Chris?"

"Hm?"

"Do you... Did I say anything before I passed out after being shot?"

He was half asleep already. He shrugged. "I think you tried to, but couldn't quite..."

She nodded, feeling an odd mix of relief and disappointment at his statement. One half, the side of her that wanted to live, wanted him to know what she had tried to say. The other part of her, the one that wanted to die, was glad he didn't find out. "Oh, okay."

"Why, is there something you wanted me to know?"

"I... Can't remember," she murmured.

He kissed the side of her neck. "Goodnight, Jill."

"Goodnight..."

* * *

Claire's phone startled her as it started ringing. She recognized the ringtone as Chris's. She picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Claire." It was indeed Chris. "You said you wanted to know when she was awake. She woke up yesterday, but I didn't want her overwhelmed. I hope you don't mind that I waited until today to tell you."

"No, it's fine." The redhead bit her lip. "Is she... Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Still in some pain, but they've got her on medicine."

"Well, today's my day off. I'll have to go and see her."

"I told her you might. And I don't think she's angry with you. I'm not really sure what emotion she feels towards you."

The redhead gritted her teeth. "She probably is angry with me, with what I said..." She had no right to say something like that to her brother's partner, her lost friend.

"Claire?"

"Yeah, Chris?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, big brother."

They both said a short goodbye before hanging up their phones.

Claire sat up in her spot on the couch and held her head in her hands. "Oh, how am I going to do this?" She wanted Jill back as a friend and she wanted to right her wrong words.

She remembered how nice it was, being Jill's friend. The two women had been close before Chris's accident. They'd go out to lunch, go shopping, tease Chris. They had been best friends. But because of what Claire saw as her own stupidity, she and Jill were no longer friends.

She needed to apologize, badly.

"I'll simply go in, say I'm sorry, and wait for her response," the redhead said to herself. "I really hope she's not too mad at me..."


	15. Chapter 14

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**Got bubble wrap around my heart  
Waiting for my life to start  
But everyday it never comes  
Permanently at square one  
When it's late at night-ight  
I'm so dissatisfied-ied  
In the wait for a empty life-ife  
- Living Dead, Marina and the Diamonds**

Claire froze at the steps of the hospital. She was paralyzed by the fear of Jill's reaction. What if the brunette was viciously angry at her? To the point where she never wanted to see Claire again? Claire couldn't help but think of the worst case scenarios that could happen when she want to apologize.

"C'mon, Claire. You can do this. Jill needs you," she spoke to herself. She had to be there for the brunette, absolutely had to. She stepped into the hospital, walking briskley to get her visitor's pass and then to Jill's room. The brunette was sitting up in bed with a book in her hands. Claire stood at the doorway and took a deep breath. "Jill?"

To her surprise, the brunette looked up with a soft smile. "Hey, Claire. Chris said you might stop by." She placed a bookmark in the pages of her book and closed it. "You can come in." Claire did so, standing awkwardly in front of one of the chairs before actually taking a seat. "What's on your mind?"

Still hesitant, the answer came. "I want to apologize."

Jill shook her head, frowning. "That's not needed."

"No, I want to-"

"Claire, it's fine. I'm over it."_ I've accepted it_, was a better phrase.

"Jill, I _need_ to apologize." Claire gripped the ends of her jacket, emphasizing her point. "I can't _not _apologize to you!" Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, but she wiped them away before they could fall. "We used to be such good friends! Before Chris's accident, before I pulled that stupid crap..." Claire stared down at her lap. She couldn't stand to look up at the brunette. "I never should have said that, I never should have avoided you after Chris didn't wake up..."

She pinched her arm and bit her lip.

"Claire... It's okay. I understand." Claire looked up at Jill to see that she was also trying not to cry. Jill didn't bother to say things such as "I know it's my fault" or "you were right to blame me". Then Claire would fight against that point with the stubbornness she was born with and try to convince Jill otherwise.

"But, Jill..." Claire's face contorted as she tried to stop the tears, but to no avail. "Chris told me the troubles you've been having and I can't help but feel I helped to get you those troubles!"

Jill shook her head. "Claire, come here." Grey eyes found blue and Jill made a small motion to the spot beside her. Claire moved to it and Jill pulled her into a hug. The younger woman cried against her shoulder as she spoke. Jill gently brought her hand over the back of Claire's head in a comforting gesture. "It's fine, Claire... I'm okay, Chris is watching out for me. He's making sure I don't do anything stupid. And you had every reason to blame me; I wasn't able to neutralize the bomb and Chris got hurt by protecting me from it." Jill's face was sad, only a few tears slipping down her face before ceasing all together. "You have no part in how down I've fallen. Nothing that's happened to me is your fault, okay?" Jill squeezed the woman in a tight hug, feeling the pain in her shoulder as she did. "We've all been stressed lately. Don't worry about me, okay? I'll be... I'll be fine."

After a few minutes where the only sound came from Claire, she pulled away, wiping at her eyes. "F, Friends?" she asked, hopeful.

"Of course." Jill smiled. "Friends."

* * *

Chris hid a bouquet of flowers behind his back as he stepped into Jill's hospital room. His other hand was occupied by a plastic bag with a few changes of clothes in it, brought so Jill didn't have to stay in her hospital gown the entire time. "Jill," he spoke, capturing her attention. "How're you holding up?"

She smiled when she saw him. "Hey! And I'm fine, I guess. They've got enough pain killers in me to keep my shoulder from hurting."

He smiled and stepped further into the room. "I brought you some clothes, as well as," he pulled out the bouquet instead of actually saying it. Her eyes and smile widened when she saw it; about ten lovely white roses, her favorite. He handed her the flowers and she caught his hand, pulling him in so she could give him a quick kiss.

"Thanks, Bearfield," she spoke, squeezing his hand. "I love them!" She set them down on her lap and looked over at him. "How was your day?"

"Fine," he answered. "I was informed I have to attend the trial tomorrow. I'll be a witness because I was on the case with you and was the first inside and so on."

"What time does it start?"

"It'll last all day, but have a break or two during it. I think at around twelve there's a two hour break or something. I'll come visit you then." He sat on the edge of the bed, threading his fingers through hers.

"Do you have time to stop by in the morning?" She wanted him there as much as possible, if she was going to have to stay there for a week.

He nodded. "Yeah, definitely. And in the evening too."

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "Claire visited."

"How are you two now?"

"I think we're good. She's gonna try and come back later in the week."

Chris put his arm around her waist and nuzzled his noise into her hair. "I might've found an apartment to rent." She tensed up. "It's close to yours. About a block over actually." He brushed the hair out of her face. "But I wanted to ask you first. I know when you're able to go home, you might want me to help out until you're all healed. But if you think I should get the apartment, I will."

She was slow at answering. She knew he couldn't stay with her forever, but she wished he could. "You should get the apartment. You can visit me whenever you want. I really want you to."

"I will. Everyday if you want me to." She nodded.

"And we'll have to have movie night every week. Just like the old days." She gave him a weak smile. "I'll bring the movie if you bring the snacks."

"It's a deal. Skittles like always?"

"And popcorn."

She let herself relax again, trying to focus on the positive. He kissed her forehead as she sighed, settling against him. "I love you, Jill..." he murmured.

* * *

Later that night, after Chris, disappointingly, left, Jill was alone. Betty stopped by before she clocked out and went home, but it was only a small comfort in the cold emptiness of her hospital room.

It seemed everyone had something to do but Jill. All she could do was sit in a hospital while Chris went to serve as a witness at a trial and as Betty stayed home with her boyfriend on her day off. She couldn't even go back into work when she could escape from the hospital. She'd have to sit at home and wait for her stupid stitches to heal.

It wasn't really worth it to wait, but what was the point in rushing it? She didn't have much to work for. Her relationship with her current boyfriend was a lie, only there to protect her heart (as well as Chris's) from further pain. She had tried calling Payton again earlier that day, but it had gone straight to voice mail. She was a little irritated with it, but it wasn't the main focus in her mind.

Jill stood from the bed and walked over to the window. All she saw were the dark silhouettes of buildings.

She sighed.

She wanted to go home, curl up on her bed, maybe next to Chris because he was still there at her apartment. There, she'd be safe from her thoughts for the most part. The hospital just reminded her of death. She had spent too many days there, fearing the eternal sleep befalling Chris. Now she was the one trapped in the too clean halls, the pristine white walls.

She simply wanted a life that didn't come with so much... crippling sadness.


	16. Chapter 15

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**You believe that you're innocent.  
You're relieving your guilt.  
The Jury seems to be deadlocked.  
Look at the drama you built.  
- A Rumour of Skin, Stone Sour**

Jill sat by the window again early in the morning the next day. She had gotten some sleep, but not much. She was lonely, as always. The only person that had been in the room as of yet was Carla, a friend of Betty's who took Betty's patients on the blond's day off. Jill had been scolded by the woman for getting out of bed, but hadn't been forced to return to the white uncomfortable monotony that it was.

Jill was hoping someone would come visit. Chris had said he would but she knew for a fact the man didn't wake up before eight unless he absolutely had to. She remembered many times back before his coma where she had burst into his apartment and dragged him out of bed so he wasn't late for work. She couldn't expect to see him for another two hours at least.

She felt wide awake, despite lack of sleep. It was as though all those hours Chris had slept during his coma had somehow brought her energy. She hated being so still; she needed to move or she'd get left behind. But the hospital wasn't a place for movement. It was quite the opposite. The hospital was a place for rest and stillness. She was estranged in the large, too white place. When Chris was there, she felt welcome and loved and happy. When Claire was there, she felt as thought she wasn't alone anymore for a brief time. When Betty was in the room she felt as though she had a friend she could talk to. No one else of importance had gone to visit her. Alone at the hospital was the worst thing. Jill hated it.

She pulled her legs up onto the chair with her, hugging them. She wished she could go back to sleep. Sleep could hold her for a while until Chris arrived and spoke to her for a short while. Maybe Chris would hold her too. Her first night at the hospital, with him there, had been fine; devoid of nightmares, peaceful, and full of happy scenes floating lazily through her mind. They vanished from her mind as soon as her eyes opened.

"Jill?" a man's voice spoke. It wasn't a voice she expected at all. She turned.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" She hadn't seen him in over a year, her father, Dick Valentine. "You dyed your hair."

He shrugged and brushed a hand through his now black hair, a timid smile on his lips. "Not much hair left to dye." He offered his arms out. "Can I get a hug?"

She recovered from the small shock at seeing her father and stepped towards him. "Yeah, of course!" A warm hug was shared between father and daughter. When they parted, she offered him the chair and took a spot on the bed. "How did you find out I was here?"

"Well, I called your apartment yesterday morning. Chris answered and told me what happened." He paused, wondering whether or not to address how she was living with her partner, but decided not to. "I bought a plane ticket and came out to see you." He opened the satchel that looped over his shoulder and hung at his side. "I did grab something first, though, before leaving." He pulled out a worn teddy bear with one eye missing.

"My teddy bear!" Jill smiled wide as her father handed her the worn animal. She hugged it to her chest and looked up at him. "Thanks!"

He smiled at her. "I thought it'd help you heal up. Or at least make you more comfortable while you're here."

"He'll definitely help!" Jill set the bear in her lap and looked over at her dad again. "How long will you be in the city? I know you and a lot of people around here don't get along, so..."

Her father chuckled. "Yeah. You're partner is one of them."

"Well, he's got no proof on anything he can arrest you with. Besides, you're visiting me, so he'll be just fine." Jill knew she could get her father out of any issue with Chris. Chris would listen to her, of that, she was sure; he was more than willing to be her slave, but she was less than willing to be the slave master.

"Gonna bat your baby blues at him so he melts and listens to you?" the older man joked, half under the impression that his daughter was in a relationship with the marksman.

Jill blushed and looked back down at her teddy bear. "How long are you staying, Dad?"

"Only the next few hours, unfortunately. I only came to see you. To stay any longer would be dangerous with the people after me in this city."

Jill nodded. "Okay. You'll probably be able to see Chris. He promised to stop by this morning."

"Does he visit you often?"

"Yeah, everyday. For a few minutes before work, and then a few hours after work." She shrugged. "He spends most of his free time here." She gestured to the roses that Betty had put in a vase on the nightstand. "He brought me those yesterday."

"I'm glad he's taking care of you, then. I can't be around to protect my baby girl anymore."

She rolled her eyes. "Dad, I'm not a baby."

He mirrored her eye roll. "However cliched it is, you're still my baby girl. Always will be."

"Dad..." Someone cleared their throat as they entered the room. Jill looked towards the sound. "Oh, hey, Chris! You're here early!" She smiled at him, her grip tightening some on her teddy bear.

He nodded. "Yeah. I wanted to have a little while to spend with you before I have to go in." He glanced over at her father and gave him a nod of recognition. "Sir." He made no move other than that.

The man chuckled. "Don't be so formal. Call me by my first name."

Chris nodded. "Okay."

"I'm glad you managed to pull yourself out of bed early, Chris," Jill said happily. She was in a great mood and she had no idea why. Maybe it was because her father was visiting. She didn't know.

The marksman smiled at her. "I wanted a little longer with you." He stood awkwardly to the side, hands in his pockets.

"You can take the chair, if you want," Dick spoke, starting to stand.

Chris shook his head. "I'm fine, I can stand."

Jill moved over on the bed and patted the spot she opened. "Sit here," she ordered Chris. He did as he was told, sitting close beside her. She held up her teddy bear to him. "Dad brought me my teddy bear." Chris smiled at her.

* * *

Jill's father left around twelve, his flight being at one. Chris had left much earlier, closer to eight. He didn't know when the break was in the trial, but he assured her he'd come back, and bring her lunch. Her good mood had faded some, but not much. She cuddled down into the blankets, hugging her teddy bear close.

Chris was a constant in Jill's mind. Laying there in her hospital bed, he was the basis of her thoughts. She enjoyed his company and she loved him. She shouldn't; she had caused his coma in her failure to disarm the bomb, not to mention she was in a relationship with another man. Chris was too good for her, any how.

She tried to turn her mind turned off the subject of Chris (it was painful at times) to the subject of her father. His visit had been a surprise, and a pleasant one at that. She only got to see him, at most, twice a year. He was in a bad way with many of the city crime units in the area. He didn't go into the city often, for fear of threats on his life.

Jill hadn't left the city in the past two years, one month... Or was it more than one now? Almost two months now, since the two year mark in Chris's coma. She was thankful they could move on from that, though, she guessed they really hadn't yet. He had developed feelings for her in that Dream of his. She was jealous of herself, the her that got to spend over ten years with him. Ten years of a relationship with Chris. It was a tantalizing thought, one that sparked hope in her chest, warm and over-coming. But only moments after that feeling came the knowledge it would never happen. She was a danger to him; she couldn't protect him. The warmth that had started within vanished, taken up by an icy expanse of pain.

She curled in on herself, teddy bear clutched close. She made a wrong movement and cringed as pain flew over her shoulder before sinking in and turning into a tender ache. Why couldn't the bullet have just hit a few inches lower and gone straight for her heart? If that had happened, she wouldn't be going through the emotional or physical pain she was at that moment.

She closed her eyes to try to shut out the thoughts and, before she knew it, dozed off.

She wasn't sure how much later she was woken up by Chris. "Hey, wake up, V. I've got your lunch." She sat up and yawned, stretching her arms out. He held up a subway bag. "Toasted italian bread with hard salami, lettuce, tomato, onions, mayonnaise and banana peppers."

She smiled. "You know me really well, Bear."

He nodded and smiled back, handing her the bag. "You're my partner. How could I not?" He had his own sub with him as well. He sat down in the chair after pulling it closer to her.

"How's the trial going?"

He groaned. "Let's not ruin lunch with work talk." She rolled her eyes as she took a bite of her food. "How're you feeling? How's your shoulder?"

She shrugged on her uninjured side. "I'm fine. Shoulder's in some pain."

"Did you ask the nurse for pain killers?"

Jill shook her head. "I'm fine. I don't want any."

He sighed. "Jill..."

"Chris, I'm fine. I can handle a little pain."

"But I don't like that you're in pain..."

She rolled her eyes again and looked over at him. "I'm perfectly okay, Chris."

He grumbled to himself, something about her needing to take her medicine, before taking a bite of his own sandwich.

They talked about things they wanted to speak of, not the things they would someday have to speak of such as their mutual feelings for each other that only she knew about, or her known depression that, though he didn't know it, he was helping her past. Their voices were happy and only for each other, speaking of what Claire was doing, what was going on in the office, and, late in the conversation, the trial.

"Well, you won't like it…" Chris stated cautiously. "I don't like it. In fact, I hate it. I wish I could go up there and give them a piece of my mind," he grumbled; she could hear the frustration in his voice.

"What's going on…?" she asked in a wary voice.

He bit his lip, looking at her. "Cuilter is trying to claim Hannah is the one that shot you."

Jill's hands clenched into fists, her nails digging into her palms. "… What?" He didn't need to say it again. "How?!"

"They're making the claims that the blood spatter is suspicious, and that since you were the only one not associated with the crime in the room, he can make a claim like that. They're trying to create reasonable doubt so he can get out of the attempt at murder charge and the charge of shooting as officer of the law."

She sighed, angry, and stood up from the bed, a grim look on her face. She picked up her shoes from where they were stashed near the bag of clothes she had. She moved back to the bed and sat on the edge. With some effort and a great deal of pain around her stiches, she pulled her shoes on.

"Jill? What are you doing?" Chris asked, eyes widening some.

She didn't answer, but asked, "When do you need to be back in court?"

"I have to leave here in a few minutes. Why?"

She stood up again, cringing and holding a hand over her shoulder, but only for a second. She grabbed her bag of clothes and started walking out the door. "Let's leave then."

"Jill, wait—" He stood and was by her in half a second. "You aren't leaving. You aren't healed enough."

She turned on him, pressing a hand against his chest, pushing him back. "I_ am_ leaving, Christopher. I'm going to go testify and get Cuilter's lying ass thrown in jail." She dropped her hand down to grab his. "I won't let Hannah go to jail for something she didn't do. I'm going to that court and I'm going to fucking tell them what happened, including how Cuilter shot me, not Hannah. You're driving. Okay?"

He nodded, overwhelmed by her anger. "Okay." He hesitated, wishing he could kiss her. "I love you, Jill."

She was caught off guard by his sudden statement. She pulled him into a tight hug, ignoring the now furious pain in her shoulder. He hugged back, trying to be gentle as he enveloped her. She pulled away and grabbed his hand up again. "Let's go, Chris."

They arrived a little late, but took their places. She was added to the witness list, much to the chagrin of Cuilter's lawyer. She saw Cuilter, a large purple bruise on the side of his face. She also noticed Hannah sitting on her own side. It was a long while before Jill was called to the stand.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"

"I do," Jill answered.

The first up to question her was Hannah's lawyer. "Miss Valentine, it's true that you were undercover at Oak Grove Amusement Park, correct?"

"Yes."

"And while undercover, you made contact with my client, Hannah Ohera?"

"Yes."

"And is it true she led you to the place where you were shot, promising the sale of drugs from her boyfriend's hands?"

"Yes, that's true."

"And when you entered the room she led you to, you saw Mr. Cuilter there, right?"

"Yes."

The man paused before continuing on. "How is it that you recognized Mr. Cuilter?"

She glanced over at Chris before returning to the man questioning her. "I went with my partner to one of his shrink appointments. Cuilter was the shrink."

The lawyer nodded, understanding. "Okay, Miss Valentine, one more question; who is it that shot you that day?"

Jill scowled. "Kevin Cuilter."

"No further questions, your honor." He stepped back and returned to his spot beside Hannah. Jill's eyes met Chris's as Cuilter's lawyer was called forward. She took a deep breath and pulled her eyes from him to the lawyer. "Miss Valentine, are you aware that, after shock or injury, people often black out and are unable to remember anything after that?"

"I'm aware of that."

"So are you certain you remember the happenings after you were shot?"

She scowled. "Every last detail."

"Are you sure the events you remember actually happened? That it's not just space filled with what you want to remember?" He walked back and forth in front of her as he spoke.

She spoke, anger hidden in her voice. "I am more sure of who shot me than you are of the possibility that you are a failed abortion." He paused in his steps and frowned. She continued to speak. "I remember every second of what happened from when I was shot to when I passed out." She clenched her fists. "I remember stepping into the room and seeing him. I remember the feeling of a bullet piercing my skin, digging into my flesh, and me falling to the ground. I remember Hannah trying to stop the blood until Cuilter grabbed her by the throat and started screaming at her!" Jill's eyes flashed, voice rising in level with every sentence. "I remember my partner bursting into the room, punching Cuilter, and then kneeling over me, pushing his hands over the wound! I remember him begging me to stay awake! I remember looking up at him and trying to speak! I remember the words I wanted to be my last as my partner watched me die!" She shouted the last part, standing and slamming her fist on the surface in front of her. "Does that sound like I don't remember?!" She cringed as the pain rushed over her, sitting back down with a hand over her injury.

Cuilter's lawyer took a step back. "No further questions."

Jill was excused from the stand and she returned to Chris. "Bring me home," she mumbled. "I don't want to be here anymore and I refuse to go back to the hospital."

He sighed and nodded. "You should go back, but I won't make you." He stood, following her out. "What do you want for dinner?"

She shrugged. "I don't care."

"We can pick up some Chinese food on the way," he offered.

"Okay," she answered. He led her to the car. His mind was on the ways he could make her happy, a nearly impossible thing with the mood she was in.

He took her hand as they drove and her grip on his became iron. He pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed her fingertips. She relaxed some at his touches, enough so that she was able to go into the Chinese place with him. She didn't let go of his hand though, but clung to it. Half of the reason was the pain pulsing through her, the other half being how she wanted to be closer to him.

They arrived back at her apartment and ate, neither speaking a word.

After they finished, she disappeared into her room. He sat on the couch, head leaning back, eyes staring at the ceiling.

"Chris?" He looked up towards her voice. She was at the end of the hall and had changed into her pyjamas.

"What is it, V?"

"Can…" She hesitated. "Can you lay with me? At least," she paused and bit her lip. "At least until I fall asleep?"

He seemed surprised by the request, but stood. "Yeah. Yeah, of course." She gave him a half smile and went back into her room. He followed and got there when she was already settled into her bed. He climbed in beside her after closing the door so the light that echoed down the hall from the window couldn't keep them awake. He wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close. She sighed, already falling prey to sleep.

He stared at what little bit her could see of her; the side of her face, her hair, part of her neck. He was reminded of a couple nights earlier when they had slept nestled together in her hospital bed. She had claimed then that she didn't remember what she had tried to say to him. But in the courtroom, she had emphasized the fact that she had remembered.

He closed his eyes, focusing on her in his arms. He didn't need to know right then. If it was important (and it must be if she had chosen them for her last words), she'd tell him later.

He could wait forever for her.


	17. Chapter 16

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

**I'm feeling down about this love  
Who are you to make me feel so good?  
Who are we to tell ourselves that we're misunderstood?  
-This Love (Will Be Your Downfall), Ellie Goulding**

When Betty burst into Jill's bedroom, the injured brunette couldn't tell if it was early morning or late at night. "Jill Valentine!" Betty spoke. "You weren't supposed to leave the hospital!"

Jill looked up at her before simply shoving her face back into the pillow. "Go away..."

Betty frowned. "No. Not until you sit up and swallow this pill." She held up a large oval shaped pill between two fingers.

"I don't want medicine." Jill's voice was muffled by the pillow.

"Too bad. If you want to stay home, you need pain medicine. And to come in every other day for a checkup. Starting tomorrow."

Jill sighed, rolling over and causing herself some pain. The bed beside her was empty, Chris gone. She ignored it. "Fine. Leave the medicine here. I'll go in tomorrow. Can I sleep now?"

"You have to take this now," Betty ordered. "I'm not leaving, or letting you sleep until you do."

Jill sighed and pushed herself up, grunting a bit from the pain. She snatched the pill from the blond and downed it without water. She shuddered a bit from the taste, but relaxed enough to collapse back on the bed. "Goodbye. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You'd better show up." Jill made an annoyed noise and Betty sighed. "Goodbye, Jill."

Jill huffed, and closed her eyes. Pain still pulsed through her shoulder, so as soon she heard the front door close, she got up and moved to the kitchen for an ice pack. Her eyes were barely open, only just enough to see where she was going. She pulled a break-to-activate one from the lower cupboard next to the fridge and snapped the small object inside, instant cold coming to creation under her fingers. She held it against her shoulder and wandered to the couch and collapsed there, pulling the blanket off the back and covering herself with it. She slipped back into sleep within minutes.

Chris stepped out of the bathroom, freshly showered. He had heard Betty's entrance and exit. He was a bit disappointed that he had to go to work and leave Jill home alone. But work was work and someone needed to do it. He didn't want to think of how he was moving out in only a couple days. Then she'd be alone for longer periods of time. After finding her by the window that night he had been scared. He treated her the same though, not wanting to make her feel poorly about herself; she was who she was and the problems she faced only contributed to that. He loved her though and refused to stop. He felt guilty for her depression. If he had been awake for her during the past two years, he could've prevented it in a lot of different ways. At least, in his mind he could have. He knew he had no control of the fact he had fallen into a coma, but he still felt guilt.

He got dressed in his work clothes and stepped down the hallway, ready to leave. He noticed her on the couch and smiled. She was adorable. She was curled up in a blanket, an expression of sleep on her face. He leaned over her and kissed her cheek. "I'm heading to work, Jill," he whispered.

"Have fun," she murmured in reply.

He smiled and brushed her hair back out of her face. "I will. See you when I get back." He stood back up and went over to the door. "I love you, Jill."

It was only after he had left, the door clicking closed, did she whisper in a sad voice, "I love you too."

* * *

Jill woke hours later. She sat up and slipped her feet over the edge of the couch. Her shoulder seemed almost numb from the painkiller she had gotten earlier that morning, something she was thankful for. She tottered on unbalanced legs to the kitchen, tossing her warm ice pack on the freezer before grabbing the bread from the cupboard. She stuck two slices in the toaster and pulled out the peanut butter. She placed her hands on the counter, holding herself up as she waited for the bread to finish toasting. The world swam in front of her eyes. Obviously, the one pill had been too much for her. She decided that next time she took it, if she took it at all, she'd only have half of one.

The phone started ringing from its place on the coffee table. She stumbled back to it and picked up without checking the caller ID. "Hello?" she mumbled, sitting down on the edge of the couch.

"Hey, Jill. It's Payton. You didn't answer your cellphone."

"Oh, yeah," she mumbled. "I don't know where it is. Sorry."

"Oh, that's fine. What's up with you?"

Her hand strayed to her shoulder. "Nothing. I just woke up." If he knew she was shot, he might return early. If he saw how Chris had been staying in the apartment with her, she knew he would flip shit. She understood that though.

She talked with Payton for no more than ten minutes. When she hung up, she held her face in her hands. She felt like a complete bitch. Payton was a pretty nice guy and she was just using him so she didn't have to face her feelings for Chris. She sighed. It was better if she just broke up with him. She could break up with him without telling Chris. That was possible, wasn't it? Chris wouldn't ask her out and she could be alone, not like how she wanted, but how she deserved. Chris would be safe from her and so would everyone else.

She curled back up on the couch, forgetting about her food, and slept again.

* * *

The next morning, Chris went to work at the same time (but not before making her breakfast as a way to thank her for letting him live with her), and got to work in time to hear news: the verdict on the trial. He immediately took out his cellphone, but decided against it. Jill had lain back down after breakfast, icepack on her shoulder. He'd call later, once he was sure she was awake.

It was his last day in her apartment, unfortunately. He'd miss being able to see her quite as often. But there was always work and the movie nights that had been previously promised. He could live with that.

Work was slow and incredibly boring without her occupying her desk. She had always livened up the work place, at least, he remembered her doing so. He often mixed up what had happened in the Dream and what had happened in real life. But that was more with what had happened in 1998, and much less with the more recent events or the ones that technically happened in the future.

All in all, Chris was pretty relieved. The real life happenings were largely better than the Dream.

Of course, he still had the whole issues of loving Jill and her being with someone else and that entire deal. But he could get past that. Eventually. At the very most, he'd always be there for her.

He finally called her when the time was closer to one. She answered in a lazy voice. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jill," he replied, smiling.

He heard her yawn. "What's up?" He then heard her make a small noise that could only mean she had moved in some way to pull on her wound and hurt herself.

"Did you take your pain pills?" he asked. "You know Betty told you to take those and get lots of rest."

She huffed. "I'm getting plenty of rest. And the pills make everything go wibbly-wobbly."

He chuckled. "That's how you know they're working."

"I'm going stir crazy, Bear," she answered. "I'm really bored. And I've watched just about everything on Netflix; except a few different movies, but only because I'm saving a couple for our movie nights."

"I hope they're good movies."

"One about some detectives, another with Terrance Zdunich, and we can always re-watch some Disney ones," she replied.

He nodded, though she couldn't see it. "Sounds great. But, that's not why I called. I wanted to tell you the results of the trial."

Her breath hitched audibly. "What are they? How long is Cuilter in jail? That bastard deserves life!"

Chris smiled. "I'm glad you think that. He'll be in jail for twenty five to life, no parole. Not even good behavior will get him out of this. I bet you five minutes before he's someone's bitch in prison."

She snorted. "Please. More like two." Something else grabbed her mind. "Wait, what about Hannah? She just needs some help…"

His face fell some. "Well…" He sighed. "She'll be spending three years in a women's correctional facility. After that, a year in rehab."

Jill let out a breath she had been holding. "Oh. Well, that's better than I thought it'd be. And she'll get the help she needs."

"Jill, you want me to pick up food on the way home? It's my last night living at your place," he pointed out, wishing it wasn't true.

"No, it's fine. I wanna make dinner for you tonight."

"Don't hurt yourself."

"Redfield, I can make a simple meal without hurting myself. I've made it this far, haven't I?"

He laughed. "Yeah, yeah." He paused. "I'll come get you at three to bring you to the hospital, okay?"

She sighed. "Yes…"

"Take your medicine."

"Maybe."

"Jill, you need to—"

"Goodbye, Chris!"

It was his turn to sigh. "Goodbye, Jill. I love you."

The line went dead.

Chris set the phone down, only to realize Rebecca was standing by his desk. He looked over at her. "What's up with you two?" she asked.

He shrugged. "What?"

"You and Jill…" Rebecca trailed off. "What's going on?"

He looked down at his desk, picking at the edge of a piece of paper. "She and I are partners…" he mumbled. "And until tomorrow, roommates; I just rented out an apartment."

Rebecca bit her lip and gave Chris a look of what seemed to be a little disappointment. "Oh. Well, with how you talk to her… I was hoping she had dumped what's-his-face. And with you talking to her like that, you know, telling her you love her… Not to mention I heard you when you were trying to stop the bleeding when she was shot." She shrugged. "You make her happier. A blind dog could see that. But I guess that doesn't mean you have to be dating."

Chris dragged a hand over his face. "It's not that I don't wanna date her, Becca. It's that she's with someone else and even if she wasn't, I'm not sure if she'd want me."

Rebecca smiled and shrugged. "Well, she was always at the hospital waiting for you to wake up. I'd say she'd want you. And look on the bright side! Maybe her boyfriend will get hit by a bus. Then you can comfort her!" she joked.

Chris couldn't help but laugh, but tried to muffle it. "Rebecca, that's bad; you shouldn't say it," he chuckled.

She shrugged, smirking. "Just trying to cheer you up. And be nosy, but that's normal for me."

Chris rolled his eyes, still smiling a bit as his friend walked away.


	18. Chapter 17

**Soft Sounds and Hard Impacts**

_We're fighting without a reason  
We're killing her softly day by day  
We're guilty, we're all in treason  
It's time to mend this great divide  
- The Great Divide, In This Moment_

Jill's eyes fluttered open slowly. First her thoughts were slow; it took her a few minutes to realize she was naked, another few to actually question why she was. Her knowledge of where she was came back last out of all. She tensed instantly, eyes shooting open. She swore lightly and sat up, pulling herself from his arms as she did so. Her hands went to her face, shock filling her.

"No," she murmured, holding a hand to her face. "Oh, no, no, no. We shouldn't have... I shouldn't have. Oh God, what have I done?"

Chris frowned and sat up. "Jill, I'm…" his hand hovered over her shoulder. He was almost afraid to touch her, to do something wrong that might invoke her departure or worse: the end of whatever relationship they did have. "I'm sorry."

* * *

**_Two days earlier_**

Jill sat in a café sipping a cup of tea and reading a book. It had been about a week since the trial and she had healed a decent amount. She would still have to go in often for checkups, but she felt much better. She especially liked that a simple ibuprofen worked to stop any pain, instead of the pain medication she had taken before.

She was alone, waiting for Claire. The redhead was only a few minutes late and Jill had plenty of patience. Jill was sure Claire would arrive before the coffee that had been ordered for her got cold. The two women had been meeting every once in a while in the past week and Jill already felt better. When she was with a friend, she could hide her issues. She was much happier with an actual friend again.

The café she was sitting in was nearly empty. It had been a while since she had visited it. Not far down was the strip, a long area with stalls set up on the sidewalk selling all variety of things from food to jewelry to clothing. She was more drawn to those areas when she was in other cities. Other cities had different variances on things. In Pittsburgh, a lot of the clothing was based on their sports teams, as well as quite a bit on the Irish part of the city. New York City was all based on itself. Well, not all perhaps, but a great deal.

"Jill!" Claire spoke as she rushed up to the table after entering the place.

Jill smiled at the sight of her friend. "Hey, Claire."

"Sorry I'm late. I got held up in traffic."

"It's fine. I ordered you a coffee." She gestured to the mug sitting on the other side of the table.

"Oh, thanks!" Claire sat down, took a sip of her drink and smiled. "That's good."

"How's your day been?" Jill asked casually as she set down her book.

Claire shrugged. "Pretty average, I'd say. What about you? How's your shoulder?"

Jill mirrored the shrug, but only on one side. "Okay, I suppose. I can get the bandage off in about a week. It'll be nice letting some air get at it."

"Letting air at it?" Claire snorted. "Gonna start wearing that old tube top of yours again? That's the only way you'll get any air to your shoulder." She chuckled. "That, or walk around topless." Jill rolled her eyes. "What? You can go to New York. It's legal there. Where ever a guy can go shirtless, so can a girl."

Jill laughed. "Claire, if that's what you were doing in New York last year, I'd avoid telling your brother."

The redhead grinned. "What happens in New York stays in New York."

"Oh God," Jill laughed a loud. "It sounds like you found that state much more exciting than I did."

"Where'd you go when you went?"

"A town in the Catskills. We were requested to provide assistance out there."

"See? You have to go to the cities. Rochester, Syracuse. And of course New York City." Claire nodded to agree with her own point. "There are some great clubs around New York!"

"Clubs you go shirtless in?"

Shock filled her face. "What? No!" She shook her head. "Uh-uh. In most clubs, girls are just an ass and a pair of tits to the guys. Exposing one or the other gets you grabbed."

"You don't even have to do that much. No matter what, if you have them, they get grabbed." Jill shrugged. "Trust me, I know."

"Oh yes, the well-endowed Jill Valentine knows all that happens when you've got an ass and chest like hers." Claire made a dramatic gesture, friendly mocking the woman she was with.

The brunette rolled her eyes. "Ha ha. So funny. You're just jealous."

Claire's tone went increasingly sarcastic. "Oh, completely. I want nearly every man at my work place fawning over me."

"Oh, the guys you work with want me too?" Jill joked, grinning.

Her friend rolled her eyes. "I'm sure they would if they saw you. Except Arnie. He wants the D."

Jill put a hand over her face in fake shame. "Oh my God, Claire."

"I'm only saying the truth." The redhead laughed and kept the smile on her face. "I understand where he's coming from with that too."

"Do you talk to your brother like this?" the other woman chuckled.

A head shake. "Please, if I did, I'd be locked away in some distant tower with an iron chastity belt on. Surrounding the tower would be a field of mines protected by a huge dragon that is protected by an even bigger dragon that was a chastity belt in a past life." The two women could only laugh at the statement for a long moment.

After talking some, the two got up and made their way down the strip. They spent the day walking around the city and talking. A little past noon, they stopped for lunch in a small diner. They continued to chat, catching up on any happenings they hadn't yet. Their attitudes towards each other had changed immensely since Chris had woken. Where they had been wary of each other during the expanse of Chris's coma, like two beasts circling each other. Now, they were suddenly friends again and were having almost sisterly chats. It was a pleasant change.

Eventually, they reached Jill's apartment. Jill had walked to the café from there that morning, as it wasn't too terribly far.

"You sure you don't want me to drive you to your car?" Jill asked.

Claire nodded. "I'm good. I've got mace in my purse and I know self-defense. Plus it's not that far away. A block or two maybe."

"Well, be careful." She paused. "Oh, and Claire?"

"Yeah?"

Jill stepped forward and hugged the redhead. "Thanks for being my friend again."

Claire was quick to hug back and smile. "No problem, Jill."


End file.
